Advice to Fathers - Listen to "Cat's in the Cradle"

"My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away"

The snippet above starts the song Cat's in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. It is one of his biggest hits and it was a big influence on the father I became. If you are not familiar with the song I have a link to the YouTube video below.

The song is all about the father-son relationship and how they get so wrapped up in life they have little time for what really matters - each other. When I was growing up the circumstance was quite similar; my father worked during the day, came home for dinner and then went to a second job not coming home until after 10:00 PM. He didn't work on Friday night but worked the second job for a half day on Saturday. This meant he was home on Friday night, Saturday afternoon/evening and all day on Sunday. There was some family time but there was also time when he was busy - working in the garage (he did woodworking), working in the yard or a combination of both. I was able to help a bit but mostly I could watch if I was home. What I remember most is going to dinner at my favorite pizzeria and visiting my father’s family on Sundays. He never got to see me play sports, didn't get to chaperone class trips or see me perform in variety shows at school. As I got older I decided that I was going to do everything I could not to miss out on my children's growing up.

When I heard Cat's in the Cradle for the first time there was an instant connection. This was the essence of my life and the antithesis to my plans. You can say that it became my anthem. I have had a number of opportunities to work in Manhattan, very good opportunities, but I turned down most because of the lost time at home. When the kids were about 8 and 10 I had no choice but to take a contract job in Manhattan. This was during softball/baseball season and I missed every one of their weekday practices and games. It so happens that many of the weekend games got rained out during that time. Until that time I was at every practice, game and school event that I could; definitely anything after work. I will never have that time back and I was happy when the contract ended.

For me it is a quality of life issue; I could make a lot of money and miss out on life or make enough money to life comfortably and make a life worth living. I think I made the right choice. My kids are in their 20's now but they still remember the times we played together or did other activities. For me, that is worth more than money, you cannot buy memories like that.

So, my advice for you first-time fathers or fathers-yet-to-be is to listen to Cat's in the Cradle and learn the lesson being taught. The boy in the song wanted to grow up to be like his father and, to the chagrin of the father, he did!

Harry Chapin - Cat's In The Cradle

Interview with Songwriter Dave Evans

Dave is a friend of more than 10 years and, with this interview, we have come full circle. You see, we met when Dave called me in for a job interview in 2006 for a programming job he was looking to fill. It was a strange interview because it was more like a couple friends having coffee than a job interview and it turned out we became good friends. We held many of the same beliefs, professionally, which led to my being hired but it was music that we most talked about.

We are both fans of the music of the 1960’s – The Beatles, in particular – and we had many discussions during the day and at lunch. While we both lived through Beatlemania and have our memories, Dave is older than I so he has more vivid memories and from a different perspective. It is always interesting to talk to someone who remembers what it was like and when Dave talks about those days you can see the excitement is almost as fresh as it was more than 50 years ago.

Despite all of the talk of music, it was months before I discovered that Dave wrote music. If memory serves me my introduction to Dave’s music was “Mary’s Song”. I instantly connected with the song and it remains my favorite Dave Evans original. I have heard the song come from rough, fast song to a love ballad that really captivates you. I have been fortunate to experience the songwriting process through the last 10 years – sometimes I get an excited text message about song that is nothing but a new chord progression and a few minutes later I am listening to a rough recording. There are other times when the lyrics come and I get a recording of his working through the melody. I am always impressed by the end result – he has a talent that many of us would love to have – but I think what is really interesting, for me, is his enthusiasm throughout the process. His songs are his children (though he has more than a few) and he nurtures them as such, always worried if he is doing them justice or if he could have done something better. If you ask me, he has served his children well – both human and music – and they represent him well.

Personal questions

What is your favorite childhood memory?

Wow, that's a tough one because there were a few... I'd have to say the first time I saw the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. I was with my dad and we lived on the fifth floor. As soon as the show was over I ran to the window and saw three of my friends down on the corner yelling up to me to come down and join them... I was not allowed to go out on Sundays nights at that time so I just turned around and gave my dad that sad look you give when you really want something... He seemed to realize that this was a special time and told me to go down and see my friend BUT to only stay right on the corner so he could see me from the window... It was awesome cause as soon as I got to the corner the four of us formed our Band and spent the rest of the night (1 hour) thinking of names for the band. Every car that passed from Mustang to Montego was considered... The funny thing is I don't remember what name we decided on but I'll never forget the experience... And yes, we did play a few gigs...

What are the five foods you can’t live without?

I love so many foods it's scary BUT I have to admit I'm addicted to Potato Chips... I can give up cookies, Chocolate and Ice Cream but I just can't seem to give up the Chips... I LOVE Prime Rib when I go out to eat and Veal Parmesan when in an Italian restaurant but I can do without them...
(Joe: I think potato chips are the downfall for most of us – I don’t think there is ever a bag that is “big enough”)

What’s the best advice anyone has given you and who gave it to you?

My Dad always gave me good advice. He would tell me to judge people by what they do and not by what they say and boy has that proven to be true... He would also tell me that money wasn't everything but to remember I had to pay the bills and Shoprite didn't accept Titles or job descriptions, only money.
(Joe: that’s great advice, all of it.)

What is your favorite thing to do when you aren't making music?

Another good question... I love reading, playing on the computer, learning new things and meeting new people... In the summer I LOVE being on the beach. I keep my umbrella and beach chair in the car all summer so I'm ready to go at a moment’s notice... I like getting there early in the morning and staying till at least 1 or 2 in the afternoon, then I walk the boardwalk at night. It is fascinating to me all the different people and couples you see when you walk the boardwalk.

If you could spend an hour with any famous person, past or present, who would it be and why?

Only ONE!!! Musically I guess it would be John Lennon because I always liked his music and songwriting... I would LOVE to have both John AND Paul in the same room and talk about each of their songs and what they were thinking when they wrote them... I would also love to compare my songwriting process with theirs and see if we do it the same way... History wise I would love to sit down with Abraham Lincoln and talk about what he was feeling during the Civil War and how he arrived at some of the decisions he made during those times. I would also like to ask the "Founding Fathers" how they feel about where our country is going and if it's where they thought it would be when they first formed it... I know, I cheated...
(Joe: interesting choices – not sure we are ready to hear from our “Founding Fathers”, though)

Professional questions

Why music?

I love music and can't picture my life without it. The funny thing is I always wrote words, I guess you would call them poems, with a musical idea in my head BUT I never actually put real music to them. When my late wife Mary passed away I started playing the guitar again (after stopping when I was 13), probably to take my mind off of her passing. One of the first songs I wrote was Mary's Song which I still have trouble performing live without getting emotional. Over time my music changed from sad to less sad to sometimes happy... It's been 13 years now and hopefully my music has evolved enough where it has many moods and generates many different feelings.
(Joe: I can tell you; YES, your music (and recording) has evolved many-fold over the intervening years and continues to evolve. Dave & I collaborated on a video for "Mary's Song" that you can view on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLCSDKycY10)

Can you explain your music in 10 words or less?

I can do it in one, FEELINGS... I write songs to either generate feelings or express my feelings. It is my way of saying things I have trouble saying without music. Every song I write is saying something, either explicitly or buried somewhere within it. They are not all heavy messages or statements BUT if they are not saying something I won't write them.

What is your greatest musical achievement?

Every song I write... I always considered myself a songwriter and not a performer so to me it's the song that's important, not my performance of it. I just hope I do them justice when I record them. Every song I write has something to say, I just hope I say it in a way that other people hear the message.

If you could open up for any artist, past or present, who would it be?

Obviously The Beatles but we all know that can't happen so maybe Elton John or Bob Seger. How about Tom Petty or Train...? The Eagles would be cool too. Can I throw in Elvis and Buddy Holly???

Where do you draw inspiration from when you write/play/sing songs and what’s your favorite part about the process?

I usually start off by writing about a situation I'm experiencing or feeling. Sometimes I stay with that throughout the entire song or I stray into other things to expand the experience. Other times I picture myself in a different situation and write about how I would feel being there. An example of the latter is "Life Wasted" where I was writing about a man who only cared about money and not his family. I was trying to write about how he would feel when he was older and had no family around him. I was putting myself in that situation because I have a very close relationship with my family and had to guess how I would feel. Yes, it's all about feelings for me.

Bonus question:

What are your Top 5 "Deserted Island" albums?

WOW only 5!!! OK, Bod Seger's Live Bullet, Cat Stevens Tea for the Tillerman, Led Zeppelin's Led Zeppelin II, Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and The Beatle's White Album... The reason I picked the White Album instead of Abbey Road, Revolver or Rubber Soul is because there are more songs on it... hahaha

Dave has an Artist page on BandCamp where you can listen to more of his music, as well as purchase songs. His page is https://daveevanssolo.bandcamp.com/ and I encourage you to check it out as soon as you finish reading this post.

---

All photos are copyright Alexander DiMauro All Rights Reserved They may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use any of the photos you may contact the photographer at ajdimauro@gmail.com

---

Hiking Through History: Fort Hancock, Sandy Hook

I love Gateway National Recreation Area, better known as Sandy Hook, in New Jersey. At the end of The Hook is Fort Hancock and that is the subject of this installment of Hiking Through History. Most of the buildings are long deserted and many areas are closed to the public due to hazardous conditions but there is plenty to see. (Note: The images used to illustrate this post may not necessarily be from the same hike.)

The first image was shot at Horseshoe Cove. This is on the bay side of Sandy Hook and is just before you start to see the sign welcoming you to Fort Hancock and the buildings. This is a popular spot for fisherman and hikers alike. This shot was actually taken on the first day of Spring in 2011. The day before had been absolutely gorgeous but I like to shoot on the first day of each season and had already planned to be at The Hook to shoot spring. I am actually glad for the foggy day, I think it gave the image a mysterious look and it has become one of my favorites.

The Sandy Hook lighthouse is the oldest functional lighthouse in the United States being designed and built in 1764. You can read about the history of the light at the New Jersey Lighthouse Society. I love lighthouses, particularly this one. This was taken from the south side of the lighthouse and I decided to try to do a bit of "playing around" in Photoshop to give it an "old-time" look. If you go during the week you can take a tour of the light but, unfortunately, I have never been there when it was open. If I ever do, I will certainly do a lot of shooting and write about the experience.

If you walk south of the lighthouse you will come to the entrance of Batteries M^cCook and Reynolds. Built in 1898, Battery Reynolds was an Endicott Period 12 inch coastal mortar battery built constructed of reinforced concrete. I was named after Colonel John F. Reynolds who was killed in 1863 at the Battle of Gettysburg. In 1906, half of the mortar battery was named for U.S. Army Major General Alexander M^cCook who served during the U.S. Civil War and died in 1903. The battery cost $138,371.50 to build and was deactivated in 1920.

The image shown here is looking into Fort Hancock Battery M^cCook B Pit Entrance.

I found this little flower growing out of the rock wall that surrounds the Mortar Battery.

Finally, I leave you with a shot of the Visitor Center as taken from the beach. If you will learn anything about me through my images, you will learn that I love clouds in my landscapes; the more dramatic the better.

---

I had some help in writing this blog post - I would like to thank Andrea Mehlhorn-Marshall and Brian Barker for their assistance. I was having trouble finding information about the batteries and they stepped up and provided information and guidance. Thank you!

---

---

All photos are copyright Joseph S. Valencia All Rights Reserved They may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use any of the photos you may contact the photographer at valencia32photo@gmail.com

---

Stop and Listen to the Birds Sing

I try to get out to one of the local parks during my lunch hour to take a hike and take pictures. My goal is to cover at least one (1) mile and often exceed that. I also like to go after work and like to walk for two (2) miles or more. I do this for a number of reasons, not the least of which is for my physical well-being. The other reasons have to do with photography, my photography blog and my mental well-being. I don't know if I use my hikes as an excuse to shoot or my shooting as an excuse to get out and hike but I also don't care. To me there is something special about being in a park or walking along a wooded trail, alone with my thoughts.

As I mentioned at the beginning, I try to walk at least a mile during lunch but there are times when things don't quite work out as planned. This post is about one such afternoon. I had planned to go to a nearby lake where I can usually get in about 1.5 miles before having to head back but once I started walking I changed my mind. The previous day I visited Monmouth Battlefield State Park for my lunchtime hike and about a half-mile from my car I twisted my knee a bit. It isn't the first time something like that has happened and this time it wasn't bad but I was uncomfortable. Well, I hadn't gone more than about 20 yards this afternoon when the knee started bothering me again - I almost went back to the car but it was too nice out and so I decided to walk a bit and then sit on a bench. I walked about 10 minutes and found the spot that I was looking for, I was on top of a small rise next to the trail under a group of pine trees.

I had a great view of the lake and also had a good view of three (3) birdhouses that were in nearby trees. There are many birdhouses in the trees throughout Lake Topanemus Park, all painted with various designs. I kept an eye on the birdhouse closest to me and had the camera ready, just in case. I also noticed a nest about 10 feet further up in the same tree that I kept an eye on. I otherwise did nothing and cannot remember the last time doing nothing felt so good! I sat there for about 30 minutes watching birds fly about and listening to them sing. I could hear nothing else. It was during this time that I realized that as difficult as it is living with hearing loss and struggling to follow conversations at times, I am blessed with being able to sit in a park and listen to the birds sing. I know there were cars going by the park, kids playing on the playground, people walking by crunching gravel beneath their feet but I could hear none of that - all I could hear were the birds.

So, that afternoon didn't do much for my physical well-being and I didn't come away with any photos worth keeping but the 30 minutes I spent sitting on that bench did more good than hours with Sidney Freedman ever would. It may be time to re-think my daily routine and consider taking one day a week to find a park bench somewhere and just sit instead of walking. Ringo Starr did a song called "Stop and Take the Time to Smell the Roses" and John Lennon did "Watching the Wheels" - I think it is time to "Stop and Listen to the Birds Sing"....

---

All photos are copyright Joseph S. Valencia All Rights Reserved They may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use any of the photos you may contact the photographer at valencia32photo@gmail.com

---

The Power of Music

I love music! Whether I am listening to classic rock, classical guitar, bluegrass, jazz, folk, etc…. or playing it myself, I love music. I learned to play guitar when I was in the fourth grade and in sixth grade began playing classical guitar. I took lessons until sometime in high school when I got too busy to continue. I must admit, I got to be pretty good. I don’t play much anymore, I bought a guitar a while back when my kids wanted me to teach them and then bought a classical guitar in 2009 but usually only play when I get together with my friend, Dave. Dave writes songs and we get together every once-in-a-while and play some of his stuff - stay tuned, I will be writing about Dave in the coming weeks. I had learned a great finger-style version of “Can’t Help Falling in Love” and got to be competent with it a couple years back. Most of the time, though, my indulgence in music is as a spectator. My first choice would be The Beatles or maybe one of their solo efforts. I grew up listening to The Beatles and then to John, Paul, George and Ringo as solo artists. Just about every song has some memory attached to it. When I was growing up my siblings and I would spend two (2) weeks every summer in Flanders, New Jersey visiting our Great-Aunt Inez. These two weeks were always the highlight of my summer. There were some summers when we would go camping with my Great-Aunt Viola and her husband and I seem to remember my grandmother being on at least one of the trips. You see, Viola and her husband had a Winnebago that they traveled all over the country in and a few times we took a short trip with them. It is one such trip that comes to mind whenever I hear “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” One of our favorite games to play was Hangman and we were playing one afternoon at the campsite, listening to the radio. “I Want to Hold Your Hand” came on the radio while we were playing. Shortly afterward it was my turn to guess the phrase that Inez was thinking of. I failed…. When time came to unveil the answer it was “I Wanna Hole Your Han.” I told her that wasn’t right but she insisted that is what they were saying. All these years later and I can remember it almost like it was yesterday and it never fails to bring a smile to my face. That is the power of music.

There was a pizzeria in Little Silver that my friend, Lenny, and I would go to that had a jukebox. I remember listening to “Helen Wheels” by Wings while having a few slices of pizza. “Mind Games” brings me back to a friend’s birthday party when I was 16 years old. She had asked me to bring some records with me and “Mind Games”, the album, was one of them. We were outside listening to music, laughing and having a good time. The song was playing and I heard something like “watch this” and the next thing I know one of the girls pulls me over and plants a big kiss on my cheek as someone takes a picture. It was a year or so later that we dated for a while and are friends to this day. George Harrison’s “Crackerbox Palace” brings me back to high school and a varsity basketball game but I honestly don’t know why. I vaguely remember helping a friend, Jeff, with something and he bought me “Thirty Three & 1/3” to thank me but that might not be right. “Las Brisas” by Ringo Starr also brings me back to high school but I think of a friend, Andy. Details, once again, are a bit sketchy but I remember singing it and when I got to “yo te amo” he turned to me and said that he liked me too but not that way. Andy later became employed by WPLJ-FM in New York but sadly died of cancer while still a young man.

Of course “In My Life” is the song that my wife and I danced to at our wedding and so that brings a whole bunch of memories; after nearly 25 years we are still making memories together. Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love” is the song that I proposed to her to while we were dancing at my bowling banquet at The Squires Pub. She is a fan, as am I to a lesser degree, and the song just seemed like the appropriate time to ask her to marry me. I also remember having to speak with her father the next day but that is a different story. It’s funny how things work out.

There are so many more songs and memories, not all of them Beatles-related either. The songs of the Who, Eagles, Simon & Garfunkel, Turtles, Box Tops, Platters, Harry Chapin, etc… the list goes on and on and on. There are some songs that I really like but have a difficult time listening to. “Circle” by Harry Chapin is one of them. I love the song but cannot listen to it anymore. I also have a hard time listening to “Photograph” by Ringo Starr. Ringo sang it at the “Concert for George” and said that the song has taken on new meaning since George’s death and ever since it is difficult for me to listen to. Both songs induce great memories but also make me miss those with whom the memories were made. I would, however, like to have everyone sing “Circle” at my gravesite service when the time comes.

On that note I think it is time to say good-bye for now. I hope you enjoyed reading this installment of my rant-fest and hopefully it brought a smile or two to your face. If you have any song memories you would like to share, please feel free to comment below. I would love to hear from you!

Hey Mom, I Have a Headache (or maybe a concussion)

“It’s Just A Headache, Mom.” ~ Or, is it?

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and have no formal medical education or training. I am a layperson who did research and am presenting my findings here. This information should be used as a guide but should certainly not be used in place of professional evaluation and treatment.

To paraphrase Sigmund Freud, “sometimes a headache is just a headache.” Sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it is a sign of a concussion and though the headache goes away, the effects of the concussion can last forever. Have you ever gotten your “bell rung?” What did you do? Unless you were knocked out, you undoubtedly got up, shook away the cobwebs and resumed doing whatever it was you were doing. It’s only natural and we’ve all done it. There’s no blood, no broken bones, only a headache and you’ve had plenty of headaches before. This headache is different, this headache could be due to a concussion. Merriam-Webster defines a concussion as “a condition resulting from the stunning, damaging, or shattering effects of a hard blow ; especially : a jarring injury of the brain resulting in disturbance of cerebral function and sometimes marked by permanent damage”. If you continue to play after sustaining a concussion you are at a high risk of “second-impact syndrome” which can occur if you suffer a second concussion before the symptoms of the first one have subsided. Student athletes suffering an initial concussion are 3 to 6 times more likely to sustain a second one than an athlete who has never had one. Subsequent concussions are even more dangerous. High school athletes who suffer 3 or more concussions are at increased risk of experiencing loss of consciousness (8-fold greater risk), anterograde/post-traumatic amnesia/PTA (reduced ability to form new memories after a brain injury) (5.5-fold greater risk), and confusion (5.1-fold greater risk) after a subsequent concussion. If you hit your head and get a headache, leave the game. If the headache doesn’t go away, see a doctor.

Statistics

• Almost 50 percent of head injuries sustained in sports or recreational activities occur during bicycling, skateboarding, or skating incidents.

• Female soccer players the third most likely high school athletes to get concussions. They suffered more than 6 percent of the mild head injuries recorded in a study published today in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Football ranked first with 63 percent of concussions, followed by wrestling at 10 percent. Research found incidents of head injuries in all 10 sports they studied.

Symptoms/prevention

The most common symptom of a concussion is a headache that just won’t go away. You may also experience migraine-like symptoms such as nausea and sensitivity to light and/or noise along with the headache. Some of the physical signals of a concussion would be dizziness, trouble balancing, double or fuzzy vision. You may also feel tired all the time, have trouble concentrating, forgetfulness, confusion and feeling like you’re in a fog. If you experience any of these symptoms, tell your parents right away!

What is a guaranteed, fool-proof way of preventing concussions? Short of living in a bubble, there is none! You can, however minimize your risks.

 Always wear a helmet while riding a bicycle, rock climbing, skiing, skating or skateboarding.

 Wear a seat belt when riding in a car.

 When playing any sport, wear appropriate protection equipment (such as helmets). It should fit properly and keep it well maintained. Most importantly - wear it at all times!

Diagnosis

The most common diagnosis methods currently being used include symptomatology, MRI and CAT scan. Symtomatology relies on the patients’ understanding of, and responding to, questions and the doctors’ interpretation of the answers – this is purely subjective. The MRI and CAT scan can show certain types of damage to the brain and are objective representations but typically do not tell the whole story. The CAT scan will show the doctor if there is bleeding or damage to the brain tissue or gray matter. The MRI is also good for identifying gray matter damage. Many times these scans will show minimal or no damage but don’t give a true indication of what damage may have occurred. There is a relatively new scan available called “Diffusion Tensor Imaging” or DTI. This scan shows the white matter of the brain. The white matter is the covering of the nerves in the brain – if these are damaged the signals cannot flow to the different areas of the brain and communication breaks down. It’s like the water pipes in your house, if the pipe gets dented the flow of water isn’t as efficient – if it breaks completely the flow of water stops. New technology, “Eye Tracker” , is being developed by a team lead by Dr. Jamshid Ghajar at The Brain Trauma Foundation and Weill Cornell Medical Center. “Eye Tracker” tracks eye movement to quickly assess the severity of damage to the brain. It uses cameras to record eye movement by taking a picture of the eye every 1/1000th of a second. It detects minute fluctuations in the eyes tracking capability. The goal is to one day have this technology portable, and affordable, enough to be on the sidelines for instant evaluation.

In the 1990’s, Drs. Mark Lovell and Joseph Maroon developed Windows-based software called ImPACT (Immediate Post-Concussion Assessment and Cognitive Testing) that measures attention span, working memory, sustained and selective attention time, response variability, non-verbal problem solving and reaction time. The test provides objective information about the extent of injury to the brain. Ideally it should be administered prior to participation in athletics so that a baseline reading can be recorded. This will provide better information to the doctor trying to evaluate the severity of the concussion and post-concussion recovery progress.

Short-term/long-term effects

What are the short-term and long-term effects of concussions? The short answer is – no one really knows for certain and everyone is different. We do know that concussions are cumulative and with each concussion the likelihood of another increases. Some long-term effects include loss of coordination, difficulty with memory, vision impairment and persistent headaches. These symptoms may lessen over time for some but for many they are a daily, and sometimes debilitating, reminder of their injuries.

Treatment

There isn’t much you can do for concussions. The best medicine is time. In the hours (or days) immediately following the concussion, the best treatment is to minimize or eliminate outside stimulation as much as possible. This means no television, no music, avoid crowds and loud noises and certainly no computer or video games! The brain needs time to rest and begin the healing process. When you begin exercise after a long period, your muscles get sore. When this happens you take two aspirin and rest as much as possible. The brain, an organ, is very much like your muscles – it needs a rest period to begin healing after an injury. This is, of course, after you have been to see your doctor.

You may heard that you must never allow someone with a concussion to go to sleep – they will never wake up. Don’t believe it. Unless you doctor has concerns and states otherwise, sleep is actually a good thing. Remember what you read earlier about minimizing stimulation? What better way than to sleep?

Further reading and viewing

CDC Videos:

“Keeping Quiet Can Keep You Out of the Game… a Mother’s Story" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uO-ordcPWSU

“Keeping Quiet Can Keep You Out of the Game” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIqZDbk3M40

Journal of Athletic Training, Winter 2007-2008

Taken from “Sports Injury Facts”, all children’s hospital website, article “Coaches Learn More about Concussions during Sports”, September 2008, http://www.allkids.org/body.cfm?id=412&action=detail&aeproductid=Greystone_newsletter&aearticleid=173&AEArticleType=For Your Child

“Stunning statistics for girls soccer”, Chicago Sun-Times, September 8, 1999, by Becky Beaupre, Staff Reporter, http://qrc.depaul.edu/djabon/Articles/GirlsSoccer.htm

https://www.braintrauma.org/research-at-btf/concussion-diagnostics/

God's Square Mile - Ocean Grove, New Jersey

"God's Square Mile" is a name given to Ocean Grove, New Jersey and it is one of my favorite places on the Jersey Shore.

"Ocean Grove was founded in 1869 as an outgrowth of the camp meeting movement in the United States, when a group of Methodist clergymen, led by William B. Osborn and Ellwood H. Stokes, formed the Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association to develop and operate a summer camp meeting site on the New Jersey seashore. By the early 20th century, the popular Christian meeting ground became known as the "Queen of Religious Resorts." The community's land is still owned by the camp meeting association and leased to individual homeowners and businesses. Ocean Grove remains the longest-active camp meeting site in the United States." (from Wikipedia - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ocean_Grove,_New_Jersey)

My earliest memories of Ocean Grove are from the 1960's and the big iron gate at the entrance to Main Avenue. The gate was locked on Sunday due to the prohibition of cars (in earlier days horse-drawn carriages) and this ban remained in place until a New Jersey Supreme Court ruling in 1979 - the prohibition was permanently lifted in June of that year but the beaches are closed on Sunday until 12:30 PM when church services end.

There are many things to see and do in Ocean Grove but my favorite activities are simple - I like to walk around or simply sit on the boardwalk and watch. I watch to waves crash on the beach, seagulls searching for their next meal, surfers, fisherman, etc... I think my favorite time of day to be there is sunrise and it is typically my destination when I decide to venture out in the pre-dawn hours to shoot.

If you are more adventurous there are plenty of shops to explore and beautiful Victorian architecture to see. Many of the old homes are now being used as a bed & breakfast so you can spend a few days (or more) and take a leisurely stroll to the beach to experience your own sunrise. There are a wide variety of restaurants and a couple ice cream parlors that you absolutely must go to when you are in town.

I will leave you with a few more of my favorite Ocean Grove images.

---

All photos are copyright Joseph S. Valencia All Rights Reserved They may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use any of the photos you may contact the photographer at valencia32photo@gmail.com

---

Deserted Island Albums - My Top 5

I'm sure you know the scenario - suppose you are alone on a deserted island and can only have five (5) albums. You have to decide what five albums you can listen to over and over without getting tired of them. It's not as easy as you might think. I suppose you could take your Top 5 artists and just pick their "Greatest Hits" album but that is a bit of a cop-out. The task gets even more difficult if you are a fan of multiple artists; worse yet - multiple genres! I happen to like rock, jazz, folk, bluegrass and classical guitar. I like other music but these are the major genres. So, do I pick a single album from each? All from one? What decisions! I have an album (yes, vinyl) collection containing more than 575 albums and I have to pick five. The bottom line is that I have to hope I never find myself in this situation.

This is a difficult list to compile but here they are, in no particular order:

• All Things Must Pass - George Harrison
• Revolver - The Beatles
• Imagine - John Lennon
• Legends of the Lost and Found - Harry Chapin
• The Art Of Segovia - Andres Segovia

This was very difficult but I am fairly sure this would be the list if I ever revisited the thought. I had to leave off a lot of music and some of my favorite albums such as "Wings Over America" and "Venus and Mars Are Alright Tonight" by Paul McCartney, "Mind Games" by John Lennon, "Greatest*Stories*Live" by Harry Chapin and dozens others. I chose these because they contain songs that I almost have to hear on a regular basis.

What are YOUR Top 5? Make it Top 10, if you want. I would love to hear from you.

Now.... how am I supposed to play them now that they are here?

Shhhh – there’s a deer but where are my keys?

In 2011 and 2012 I spent a lot of time walking at Thompson Park in Lincroft, New Jersey. The park was only 10 minutes from my office and I often went during my lunch hour or after work. The following is an account of one of my after work visits in early December 2011.

I started my walk on the Paved Trail. There is a loop just to the south of the Marlu Lake parking lot that I have walked before. It gets dark so early in December and I couldn't really hike the woods after work so I picked this trail again. I was going along and noticed that there was a small trail leading off into the woods and down to the water. There was still enough light for me to make a detour and so down I went. I walked along the water a short way and found this squirrel running across the path. I was able to get the shot shown here and he took off. I turned around and headed back to the pavement. I had completed the loop and there was still plenty of time before I had to leave – the park closed at 5:00 – so I continued past my car, past the lake and headed up towards the top of the hill. When I approached the top, I saw a small deer in the clearing and took a couple shots. The light was poor and I didn’t expect much (I was right – notice there is a picture of a squirrel, not a deer) but I am sometimes surprised and so I shot. I also decided to shoot some video footage and so I swung the camera bag around, took the camera out and shot some nice footage. It was then that my keys (remember my keys, this is a story about my keys) somehow came off the carabiner that holds them on my camera bag. There wouldn’t be much of a story if I had heard them hit the pavement or somehow realized what had happened but I didn’t. I continued my hike up the pavement until I came to a dirt trail that runs along the woods back down to the paved trail by the lake. It was getting close to 5:00 by now and dark enough so I wasn’t even looking for a photo op. I was just heading to the car.

When I got to the car I swung the bag around to get my keys and came up with a handful of nothing. That’s okay, I thought, I must have put them in my pocket. Nothing. Coat pocket? No. Zipper compartment in bag? No. I then realized that I had checked everywhere, three times, and they were lost. I even looked in the ignition – not there either. With light quickly slipping away and panic rapidly taking over I took off running along the trail – retracing every step. I decided not to detour into the woods because by now it was too dark and dangerous. I ran (and walked, I’m still a bit out of shape….) along the loop and then realized I was going to need help. I had to at least have a flashlight. A few weeks earlier I thought it would be a good idea to put all of the Ranger Station phone numbers into my cellphone in case I got hurt along the trail. I called the Thompson Park Ranger and got the Monmouth County Parks System main office. Of course, they close at 4:00 (or 4:30) and weren’t going to help me. How about Tatum, maybe they could radio the Thompson Park Ranger – I got a recording. My now I had run/fast walked almost completely around the loop and approaching my car. The keys had to be somewhere on the way up or down the hill but it was too dark. I reluctantly dialed 911. I explained the situation, apologized for calling about a non-emergency and was told by the operator that I had done the right thing and he would call the Ranger Station. I met the ranger at my car and we drove up the hill. Lo and behold the keys were right where I was standing when I grabbed the video camera. What a relief! I apologized to the Ranger for taking him away from whatever he was doing – I felt like a fool – and he assured me that this wasn’t his first lost key excursion. By now it was 5:10 and I had walked about 3 miles. I got into my car, put away the camera and headed for home.

I didn’t get the name of the Ranger but I would like to thank him just the same. I have had several interactions with Park Rangers at Thompson Park over that past couple months and they have all be great. There was one who is also an avid photographer. She stopped me one day to ask if I had gotten any good shots – that day wasn’t eventful but we talked for a while about different adventures. On another occasion a Ranger was driving by and pointed out a spot that he thought I might be interested in shooting. He was right. Most times it is just a wave as they pass but they are always there when you need them and always make you feel welcome.

Now…. what to do with my keys?

---

All photos are copyright Joseph S. Valencia All Rights Reserved They may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use any of the photos you may contact the photographer at valencia32photo@gmail.com

---

Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it

Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it. - J. Petit Senn

What a great quote! It is simple, to the point and incredibly true. Everyone wants to be happy and we all seek it. Thomas Jefferson spoke of it more than 200 years ago and it still holds true today - "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

The problem is that happiness can prove to be quite elusive and sometimes it seems the more we go out looking for it, the harder it is to find. I have found, and lost, happiness more than a few times in my life but rarely when or where I was looking. I had people telling me where to look (supermarket), when to look (Thursday night) and what time to look (after work and before dinner) but for the most part it proved elusive.

I had all but abandoned the search when I found it standing on a street corner waiting for a bus. No, it wasn't raining and there were no umbrellas (The Hollies - Bus Stop) but there it was. That was nearly 30 years ago and I will leave the story for another time. Suffice it to say that I found happiness that day and I wasn't even looking for it. It hasn't always been rainbows and puppy dog tails but nothing worthwhile ever really is. Right?

Happiness doesn't always mean human companionship, either. There are many who are happy living a solitary life and the freedom it affords. They have other endeavors that fill their needs and make them happy. There is nothing wrong with that! You may find your happiness in a rewarding career or hobby. If it makes you happy and you feel your life is complete never let anyone tell you otherwise. The moral of the story is that no matter who you are there is someone or something out there ready to make you happy. Don't ever stop looking but don't let the search take on a life of its own. Don't get discouraged if happiness eludes you for a while, it is there. I promise!

Image is courtesy of Pixabay and is used under Creative Commons License.

Welcome!

Welcome to my world!

From the Mind of Joe Valencia is a glimpse into my world - who I am, what I think and how I got to where I am today. The common theme to this blog is that there really isn't much of one - this is where I am going to write stories, some true and some made up, discuss current events or just rant about something that rubbed me the wrong way. Through these pages I hope to entertain you and maybe make you think.

I love to make people laugh and try to bring a bit of humor into most things I write, not matter how serious the subject matter. I am still in search of a "sarcasm" font, if you find one please let me know! I also intend to use these pages to discuss serious topics affecting us today.

I welcome comments from everyone - whether you support what I write or disagree, I am always open to a civilized discussion of the facts. If you have an idea for something you would like to see me write about, feel free to leave a comment and I will consider it for an upcoming post. You can also email me at joevalencia64@gmail.com if you don't want to make your thoughts public.