An Open Letter to Mel Brooks

Dear Mr. Brooks:

I have so many things I want to say to you and questions to ask but I will try to keep this somewhat brief.

The first thing I would ask you if we ever met would be "How the hell did you get to be so funny?!?!" I mean, you have written some of the funniest television shows, movies and plays ever! It's not even just your writing - you are a funny guy. Period! I would bet that you could re-create the radio broadcast of the Hindenburg disaster and have everyone rolling in the aisles. I could listen to The 2,000 Year Old Man a million times and still cry. It helps to have a straight-man like Carl Reiner; actually, when the "straight-man" in a bit is Carl Reiner that says a lot!

I have been asked to name a favorite Mel Brooks movie and I just look at the crazy person in front of me. Picking a favorite Mel Brooks movie is like picking a favorite Beatles song; name one and you immediately think of another that you like more! I would say that - if pressed - I rank The Producers as one of the funniest movies ever made. The casting was incredible, the premise a genius and the performances flawless. I watch it every chance I get. Who wouldn't love Franz Liebkind - "Baby! Baby!... Why does he say this 'baby'? The Führer has never said "baby". I did not write, 'baby'. What is it with this, 'baby'?" or Leo Bloom going into a frenzy and cuddling his blue blanket? I am so glad you cast Zero Mostel as Max Bialystock, I don't think Topal would have been able to pull it off....

I have lost count of the number of times I have said "I got it! I got it! I got it! I ain't got it." That is one of my favorite lines from High Anxiety and I love it when someone recognizes it. I recently read an interview you gave in which you discuss High Anxiety and the reaction you got from Alfred Hitchcock. What a great story!

I have been asked "If you could spend an hour talking to anyone - past or present - who would you pick?" I have had different answers but the name Mel Brooks was never mentioned. How could I possible spend just an hour?? It might take 20 minutes just to get over the fact that I am sitting with you and be able to speak. I'm sure the next 40 minutes I would be crying hysterically and trying not to have "an accident."

On a more serious note, I would ask "Do you think you could get away with Blazing Saddles today?" It seems we are so hyper-sensitive as a society that some might think the humor to be too toxic. It seems that in order to poke fun of a particular segment of the population you have to be a member of that segment. Do you agree?

Well, I said I was going to try to be brief and neither of us is getting any younger so I am going to end with this final thought - the word "genius" gets thrown around easily these days but you are a true comedic genius. Thank you for all the laughs you have provided over the years, I am truly grateful. Who knew a Jew could be funny?

Regards,
Joe Valencia

Shhhh – there’s a deer but where are my keys?

In 2011 and 2012 I spent a lot of time walking at Thompson Park in Lincroft, New Jersey. The park was only 10 minutes from my office and I often went during my lunch hour or after work. The following is an account of one of my after work visits in early December 2011.

I started my walk on the Paved Trail. There is a loop just to the south of the Marlu Lake parking lot that I have walked before. It gets dark so early in December and I couldn't really hike the woods after work so I picked this trail again. I was going along and noticed that there was a small trail leading off into the woods and down to the water. There was still enough light for me to make a detour and so down I went. I walked along the water a short way and found this squirrel running across the path. I was able to get the shot shown here and he took off. I turned around and headed back to the pavement. I had completed the loop and there was still plenty of time before I had to leave – the park closed at 5:00 – so I continued past my car, past the lake and headed up towards the top of the hill. When I approached the top, I saw a small deer in the clearing and took a couple shots. The light was poor and I didn’t expect much (I was right – notice there is a picture of a squirrel, not a deer) but I am sometimes surprised and so I shot. I also decided to shoot some video footage and so I swung the camera bag around, took the camera out and shot some nice footage. It was then that my keys (remember my keys, this is a story about my keys) somehow came off the carabiner that holds them on my camera bag. There wouldn’t be much of a story if I had heard them hit the pavement or somehow realized what had happened but I didn’t. I continued my hike up the pavement until I came to a dirt trail that runs along the woods back down to the paved trail by the lake. It was getting close to 5:00 by now and dark enough so I wasn’t even looking for a photo op. I was just heading to the car.

When I got to the car I swung the bag around to get my keys and came up with a handful of nothing. That’s okay, I thought, I must have put them in my pocket. Nothing. Coat pocket? No. Zipper compartment in bag? No. I then realized that I had checked everywhere, three times, and they were lost. I even looked in the ignition – not there either. With light quickly slipping away and panic rapidly taking over I took off running along the trail – retracing every step. I decided not to detour into the woods because by now it was too dark and dangerous. I ran (and walked, I’m still a bit out of shape….) along the loop and then realized I was going to need help. I had to at least have a flashlight. A few weeks earlier I thought it would be a good idea to put all of the Ranger Station phone numbers into my cellphone in case I got hurt along the trail. I called the Thompson Park Ranger and got the Monmouth County Parks System main office. Of course, they close at 4:00 (or 4:30) and weren’t going to help me. How about Tatum, maybe they could radio the Thompson Park Ranger – I got a recording. My now I had run/fast walked almost completely around the loop and approaching my car. The keys had to be somewhere on the way up or down the hill but it was too dark. I reluctantly dialed 911. I explained the situation, apologized for calling about a non-emergency and was told by the operator that I had done the right thing and he would call the Ranger Station. I met the ranger at my car and we drove up the hill. Lo and behold the keys were right where I was standing when I grabbed the video camera. What a relief! I apologized to the Ranger for taking him away from whatever he was doing – I felt like a fool – and he assured me that this wasn’t his first lost key excursion. By now it was 5:10 and I had walked about 3 miles. I got into my car, put away the camera and headed for home.

I didn’t get the name of the Ranger but I would like to thank him just the same. I have had several interactions with Park Rangers at Thompson Park over that past couple months and they have all be great. There was one who is also an avid photographer. She stopped me one day to ask if I had gotten any good shots – that day wasn’t eventful but we talked for a while about different adventures. On another occasion a Ranger was driving by and pointed out a spot that he thought I might be interested in shooting. He was right. Most times it is just a wave as they pass but they are always there when you need them and always make you feel welcome.

Now…. what to do with my keys?

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All photos are copyright Joseph S. Valencia All Rights Reserved They may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use any of the photos you may contact the photographer at valencia32photo@gmail.com

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