"My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away"
The snippet above starts the song Cat's in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. It is one of his biggest hits and it was a big influence on the father I became. If you are not familiar with the song I have a link to the YouTube video below.
The song is all about the father-son relationship and how they get so wrapped up in life they have little time for what really matters - each other. When I was growing up the circumstance was quite similar; my father worked during the day, came home for dinner and then went to a second job not coming home until after 10:00 PM. He didn't work on Friday night but worked the second job for a half day on Saturday. This meant he was home on Friday night, Saturday afternoon/evening and all day on Sunday. There was some family time but there was also time when he was busy - working in the garage (he did woodworking), working in the yard or a combination of both. I was able to help a bit but mostly I could watch if I was home. What I remember most is going to dinner at my favorite pizzeria and visiting my father’s family on Sundays. He never got to see me play sports, didn't get to chaperone class trips or see me perform in variety shows at school. As I got older I decided that I was going to do everything I could not to miss out on my children's growing up.
When I heard Cat's in the Cradle for the first time there was an instant connection. This was the essence of my life and the antithesis to my plans. You can say that it became my anthem. I have had a number of opportunities to work in Manhattan, very good opportunities, but I turned down most because of the lost time at home. When the kids were about 8 and 10 I had no choice but to take a contract job in Manhattan. This was during softball/baseball season and I missed every one of their weekday practices and games. It so happens that many of the weekend games got rained out during that time. Until that time I was at every practice, game and school event that I could; definitely anything after work. I will never have that time back and I was happy when the contract ended.
For me it is a quality of life issue; I could make a lot of money and miss out on life or make enough money to life comfortably and make a life worth living. I think I made the right choice. My kids are in their 20's now but they still remember the times we played together or did other activities. For me, that is worth more than money, you cannot buy memories like that.
So, my advice for you first-time fathers or fathers-yet-to-be is to listen to Cat's in the Cradle and learn the lesson being taught. The boy in the song wanted to grow up to be like his father and, to the chagrin of the father, he did!
Harry Chapin - Cat's In The Cradle
The song is all about the father-son relationship and how they get so wrapped up in life they have little time for what really matters - each other. When I was growing up the circumstance was quite similar; my father worked during the day, came home for dinner and then went to a second job not coming home until after 10:00 PM. He didn't work on Friday night but worked the second job for a half day on Saturday. This meant he was home on Friday night, Saturday afternoon/evening and all day on Sunday. There was some family time but there was also time when he was busy - working in the garage (he did woodworking), working in the yard or a combination of both. I was able to help a bit but mostly I could watch if I was home. What I remember most is going to dinner at my favorite pizzeria and visiting my father’s family on Sundays. He never got to see me play sports, didn't get to chaperone class trips or see me perform in variety shows at school. As I got older I decided that I was going to do everything I could not to miss out on my children's growing up.
When I heard Cat's in the Cradle for the first time there was an instant connection. This was the essence of my life and the antithesis to my plans. You can say that it became my anthem. I have had a number of opportunities to work in Manhattan, very good opportunities, but I turned down most because of the lost time at home. When the kids were about 8 and 10 I had no choice but to take a contract job in Manhattan. This was during softball/baseball season and I missed every one of their weekday practices and games. It so happens that many of the weekend games got rained out during that time. Until that time I was at every practice, game and school event that I could; definitely anything after work. I will never have that time back and I was happy when the contract ended.
For me it is a quality of life issue; I could make a lot of money and miss out on life or make enough money to life comfortably and make a life worth living. I think I made the right choice. My kids are in their 20's now but they still remember the times we played together or did other activities. For me, that is worth more than money, you cannot buy memories like that.
So, my advice for you first-time fathers or fathers-yet-to-be is to listen to Cat's in the Cradle and learn the lesson being taught. The boy in the song wanted to grow up to be like his father and, to the chagrin of the father, he did!
Harry Chapin - Cat's In The Cradle
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