December 1980

I was going to start off saying that anyone of "a certain age" will know what this post is about just by the title. As I thought about it, I couldn't quite put my finger on what that age would be - deciding, finally, that just about anyone who is going to read this will know; no matter the age.

Introduction

As I sit to write this it is just past midnight on 15 December - yesterday marked 40 years since the vigil held outside the Dakota on 14 December 1980, just six (6) days after John Lennon was assassinated as he returned home from the recording studio. I was there that cold December day, standing on the corner of 72nd Street & Central Park West staring at the entryway to the courtyard where he was gunned down. I have seen estimates from between 150,000 and 500,000 people were there - between the Dakota, Strawberry Fields across the street and Central Park.

December 8

That Monday was just like any other day in 1980 - I went to work, went home, ate dinner and, watched some television before going to bed. It was some time around midnight that my father woke me up, telling me that my girlfriend was on the phone. I couldn't imagine what she was calling about so late. She told me that John Lennon had been murdered earlier that evening. It was like I was gut punched; I was at a loss of words but I think I managed to say something like, "What a bummer." I then said I had to get some sleep because I had to work in the morning. John had been shot at 10:50 PM and pronounced dead at 11:15 PM. Howard Cosell interrupted the Monday Night Football broadcast to announce his death. In 1974, John had visited the Monday Night Football broadcast booth, chatting with Cosell.

When I got up on the morning of 9 December the events of the night before hit me like a ton of bricks. It just didn't seem real - on my way to work I bought every newspaper I could get my hands on. I read articles in every one of them, hoping to read that it was some elaborate hoax. He had just released Double Fantasy, his first album in five (5) years and was talking about touring. I couldn't wait to see him perform! Every damned newspaper confirmed what I already knew - John Lennon was dead at age 40....

I felt the need to be with others who were having the same feelings I was; I wanted to be at the Dakota but I had just started my job in February and couldn't take time off. When it was announced there would be a vigil on 14 December there was no question about whether or not I would be there.

December 14 - The Vigil

The details of the day elude me but the feeling will never go away - 40 years later they are as fresh as ever. My girlfriend and I got there early - taking the train to Penn Station and then subway to 72nd Street. If I remember correctly, the subway station is right under the Dakota. There was a small crowd so we were able to work our way to the corner of the building and stand right up against the barriers at the end of the street. Every radio station was playing John Lennon or The Beatles and telling stories. I knew I was right where I had to be.

It didn't take long before the entire area was filled with people - some holding signs, some with radios and everyone coexisting peacefully despite being pressed together like sardines. It was very cold but, honestly, I didn't feel it at all.

Yoko had asked that, at 2:00 PM, everyone participate in a 10 minute silent vigil to remember John. Right on cue, at 2:00 PM all of the radios fell dead silent and not a single person said a word. The only sounds were distant rumbling of traffic and three or four of NYPD uniform officers laughing as they stood guard at the entry way to the building. It was during that 10 minutes of silence that it began to snow. It was almost as though someone flipped a switch and when the 10 minutes were over, so was the snow. It was eerie and I still get chills thinking about it.

We hung around for a while after the vigil was over and then headed back to the subway, emotionally drained but surprisingly at peace. I think being with so many others was very therapeutic. It is a memory that will stay with me for the rest of my life, and yet, I sure as hell wish it never had to have been held at all.

The Years Since

I have been back to the Dakota a few times in the years since - mainly on my way to visit Strawberry Fields in Central Park. I have some photos that I took during one of the trips but they have been packed away - some day I will get them out and scan them for another post. Every year I say that I am going to visit again but just never have.

This past October John would have turned 80 years old and there were quite a few specials on television and radio. Paul McCartney did a few special shows with Alec Baldwin and another with Sean Lennon. Tributes came from every corner of the music industry. His music is just as important now as it was when he was making it.

When I sat down to write this I opened YouTube and found the album, Imagine. The title track is my favorite song - bar none. It is such a simple, yet powerful song. The song was released 49 years ago and we still haven't gotten the message. It is now almost 1:30 AM and I have switched to Mind Games - Bring On The Lucie (Freda Peeple) is playing. If I had to pick favorite solo albums, it might just be Imagine and Mind Games with Double Fantasy close behind. It's tough though - Double Fantasy has some terrific tracks (well, John's tracks anyway) and you can tell he is happy. I think that is what makes his death that much more difficult; he was always fighting some inner demons but he finally seemed to work things out and start loving life.

Where were you when you heard of John's murder? Did you go to the Dakota? Strawberry Fields? The Vigil? I would love to hear your stories - leave them in the comments below.

I think this is a good time to wrap things up and go to bed - I have to work in the morning.

Please do me a small favor and share this post with others, for there’s a good chance that others might enjoy it, too! You will find "Shar" link at the bottom of this post. Thank you!

What Are Your Comfort Foods? Guilty Pleasures?

Comfort Food

I just read some posts on LinkedIn about the resurgence of foods that many consider comfort foods. One such post talked about how the recent trends were toward fresh, healthy foods but since the pandemic that is being seen as a luxury. People are turning towards more shelf-stable foods - he mentioned that Campbell’s soup has reported better than a 50% increase in sales and Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers are becoming a hot commodity.

That got me to thinking, which can be a rather dangerous thing but in this case I think everyone is safe.

What is it that you have in your pantry for "just in case?" What are some of your comfort foods? Do you have a guilty pleasure food? We always have some stove-top macaroni and cheese in the pantry. This was something the kids loved when they were growing up and it was an easy weekend lunch. Of course the pantry is also stocked with a variety of pastas and flours. There are also cans of soup, tomatoes and other staples. I could go on but this isn't about "What is in your pantry?" it is "What are your comfort foods?"

Comfort food is food that provides a nostalgic or sentimental value to someone, and may be characterized by its high caloric nature, high carbohydrate level, or simple preparation. The nostalgia may be specific to an individual, or it may apply to a specific culture. - excerpt from Comfort Food on Wikipedia

My Comfort Foods

I would say that my two (2) main comfort foods would be ice cream and popcorn. They are such a big part of my life growing up and some of my fondest memories involve them. I have written about both, Ice Cream, Oh How I Love You! and Popcorn and Sleeping at Grandma's house; if you read them you will come to learn why they are so important to me.

I would round out my list with burgers, fries, pizza, and macaroni and cheese. I would have to say that my favorite meal would be a big bacon cheeseburger on a real hard roll with a heaping serving from french fries. If we add a good-sized ice cream sundae for dessert, I cannot think of a better "comfort" meal.

My Guilty Pleasures

It wouldn't be fair for me to ask about your guilty pleasures with out letting you in on one or two of mine. I absolutely love salty snacks - mixed nuts, pistachios, potato chips, pretzels, etc... but I don't think of them as guilty pleasures. I mean, nuts are good for you and everyone eats potato chips and pretzels. Right?

When I talk about "guilty pleasure" I am thinking more like something you eat when nobody is looking. You know, like Junk Food Junkie, you go into a closet and eat your Hostess Twinkies^®. Speaking of Twinkies.... You may not know this but in the early 80's I took drove a blue 1972 Ford Pinto hatchback and took classes at Brookdale Community College. Brookdale held a Twinkie Festival and I was able to score a coveted bright yellow "Twinkie Power" bumper sticker. To say I liked Twinkies would be an understatement. I still like Twinkies but I don't have them very often. I also love Hostess Orange CupCakes^®. The chocolate are okay but orange is far superior. You do know the best way to eat Hostess CupCakes is. Right? You pinch off the bottom half, eat it and then turn the icing top upside down and eat that. If you aren't eating them that way you don't know what you are missing.

I could probably go on for quite some time in the Guilty Pleasure category but some things are best kept to ones self.

How About You?

Okay, it's your turn now. What are some of your comfort foods and guilty pleasures? What do you keep in your pantry for "just in case" and what do you miss the most since we've been restricted during the pandemic?

Let me know in the comments below and let me know how you have been keeping your sanity during all of this.

Hiking Mount Tammany (Bucket List - check)

A Panoramic View from Mount Tammany

Mount Tammany

If you have traveled along Route 80 between New Jersey and Pennsylvania, you have seen Mount Tammany but may not have known it's name. It is the huge chunk of rock on the New Jersey side of the Delaware Water Gap; Mount Minsi is on the Pennsylvania side. The Delaware Water Gap is a true treasure and a place that I will never cease to be in awe of.

Joey Enjoying the View

In the past I have twice tried hiking to the summit of Mount Tammany only to be turned away. If memory serves me the first time was in 1985 - this was to be an overnight camping trip with a friend but shortly after we began our trek up the Red Dot Trail he became ill and we had to turn back. I returned a few years later (1988? 1989?) to attempt a solo camp-out only to injure my knee, again on the Red Dot Trail, and needing someone to help me back to the car. I vowed that, one day, I would make it to the top. I finally made it last Friday and this post is all about the adventure. There are a few routes to the top of the mountain but the most popular would be the Red Dot Trail up and the Blue Blaze Trail on the way down. The last half-mile follows Dunnfield Creek trail. This is the recommended route since the Red Dot Trail can be very difficult to navigate on the way down. I was accompanied by my son, Joey, on this trip and I don't think I would have been successful without him.

Looking Down the Red Dot Trail

The Trails

The Red Dot Trail

The Red Dot Trail is a very challenging trail with steep climbs and more than a few rock scrambles. It is about 1.5 miles to the summit of Mount Tammany along this route with a change in elevation of more than 1,200 feet. The trail is almost entirely rock once you get past the stairs at the beginning of the trail. Fortunately, it is solid rock and it doesn't move when you step on it.

The Blue Blaze Trail

The Blue Blaze Trail is 1.7 miles, again, with an elevation change of more than 1,200 feet. The trail isn't as challenging as the Red Dot but it has it's own challenges. The trail is not as rocky as the Red Dot but a lot of the rocks are loose and there is a good layer of leaves to go along with them. This makes the footing a bit tricky at times when a rock moves under foot or you step on some leaves onto the point of a rock. You also have to work hard to maintain control because gravity wants to get you to the bottom far faster than is safe.

Dunnfield Creek Trail

The Dunnfield Creek Trail connects the Blue Blaze Trail to the parking lot. I had hiked this trail once before, in November 2018, and wrote about it for my other blog. If you want to learn more about the trail, check out A Brief Hike Along the Appalachian Trail

Steep and not much room for error

The Hike

The Ascent - Red Dot Trail

When we arrived at the parking lot it was almost 3/4 full and it was only a bit past 11:00 in the morning. I was very surprised to find that many people on a Friday morning. I stopped along the way to pick up some granola bars and snack crackers to eat along the way so we stashed them in our packs, checked to be sure we had enough Propel¹ and were on the trail by 11:20 AM. Earlier I mentioned that I don't think I would have been successful were my son not with me and I meant it. To backtrack a little, I went hiking at Turkey Swamp Park the day before and my knees were a bit sore from that hike; I probably would have changed my destination to a less challenging one if I were going alone. We had planned this hike for a couple weeks and I wasn't going to back out now. The beginning of the trail is a steep series of steps created with, what appear to be, railroad ties. I had climbed about 50 or 60 yards (I'm guessing) when my legs got a bit tired. This was, in part, due to the soreness of my knees but also the weight of the pack and the fact that I am not as fit as I thought I was. It was about 10 minutes into the hike that I began to wonder how I was ever going to get back to the car but was determined not to quit this time - we were getting to the top!

The Delaware River

I took the lead, cautiously picking a path along the rocks while keeping an eye out for snakes🐍. Yes, there are snakes in the woods, and bears🐻, more about that later. The trail was steep but the ground solid so there was no fear of sliding. To my surprise, there was a good amount of traffic going down the trail; when someone approached I stepped to the side, letting them by while also taking a brief break. It wasn't too long before we can to a spot that I thought might be the clincher; a solid wall of rock, about five or six feet high and no way to hike around it. I looked at Joey and then back at the rock. We found some ridges in the rock that we could step on and carefully made our way to the top of it. The rest of the way to the top was just finding the easiest route thru the rocks. I had a few criteria for the route - minimal step up height was primary but I was also staying away from anything that looked like a good place for snakes.

This is the top. Right?

We finally saw a clearing and when we stepped out of the woods the view was breathtaking. This was, I thought, the peak; the hardest part of the journey is behind us. We took our packs off, had a drink and I took out my camera and tripod. This was also a good time to eat a bit. The image, Joey Enjoying the View, was captured at this spot. I also shot, The Delaware River, at this location. While I was looking for compositions, Joey chatted with a young couple sitting on a nearby rock. They said that, shortly before our arrival, a Cessna flew thru the valley at just about eye level - about 1,400 feet. We were there for about 15 or 20 minutes before I grabbed a quick picture of us with my phone and we got back on the trail for our descent, or so we thought.

We were wrong.... We had about another 20 minutes or so before reaching the summit and another spectacular view of the Gap.

The Descent - Blue Blaze Trail

We rested at the summit for a short time before reaching the Blue Blaze Trail and the way down. As I mentioned earlier, going down turned out to be almost as challenging as going up due to loose rocks, leaves and gravity. It was also due, in no small part, to my physical condition and the fact that my legs were turning into rubber.... There are no grand vistas to take in on the way down but you are surrounded by thickening forest and it's natural beauty. As Lord Byron once wrote, "There is pleasure in the pathless woods...." and while we were not in a "pathless woods" I can't think of many places more pleasureful and peaceful.

We stopped more often on the way down for a couple of reasons, not the least of which was to give my legs a bit of a rest. We got passed by many people and while I admired their tirelessness I also thought they were missing out on the experience. I know that many make this hike a part of their routine and have probably hiked it as many times as I have the woods in my backyard but there is always something new to be experienced if you are willing to open yourself to your surroundings. I hope a hike in the woods never gets to be "routine" or simply exercise; I want to experience every hike as though it was my first time.

I didn't take my camera out of the bag on our way down, woodland photography is an art all it's own and not one that I am particularly skilled at. I was also anxious to get to Dunnfield Creek and the waterfall. There were more than a few times when I saw a bend in the trail and thought we would see the footbridge over Dunnfield Creek when we got to it, only to learn that I was mistaken. We had come to a few of these bends before Joey stopped and said that he heard water. That's it!

Dunnfield Creek
smartphone from bench

Dunnfield Creek Trail

We finally made it to Dunnfield Creek and we settled down on a bench overlooking the falls and creek below. The water level was much lower than when I was there last (see A Brief Hike Along the Appalachian Trail) but it was truly a spectacular sight. It was at this point I grew frustrated with myself because I simply didn't have the energy to properly shoot the scene. I grabbed a couple images with my phone before we headed over the bridge and down the trail to the parking lot. It is a bit over a half-mile to the Dunnfield Creek trail head from here, relatively flat and easy going. There are some rocks and roots to contend with but the hike is one that just about anyone could handle without stress. It may also be the most beautiful section of the hike.

The creek is in view the entire way and there are countless small waterfalls and rapids but this is just part of the beauty. The area surrounding the creek is full of color from moss growing on rocks, the fallen leaves and other vegetation. The downside, from a photography standpoint, is that getting down to the water is no easy feat and, at times, not even a possibility. The last time I was there I found an outcropping of rocks that afforded a great view but we must have passed it before I thought to check it out again. We did find another area with a view, a somewhat more treacherous spot to get to but worthwhile. I made a note to stop there when I next hike the trail.

Dunnfield Creek
smartphone from footbridge

The End

After nearly four (4) hours of hiking (and time spent resting....) we reached the Dunnfield Creek trail head and parking lot. We made it! Well, we almost made it. When we got to the parking lot I realized that the smart hikers were parked in this lot but we still had a bit of hiking left because we parked in the Red Dot Trail lot. It isn't a great distance but it would have been wiser to park at Dunnfield. There is a sign signaling the Red Dot Trail trail head, accompanied by a sign to beware of the two (2) types of venomous snakes inhabiting the area. Immediately beyond the signs were lay the trail with a series of steps leading up - I was on level ground and didn't think another ascent, no matter how short, was going to go well so we opted for a slightly longer walk along the road.

We finally reached the parking lot but there was no sign of my car! I had been worrying about getting back to find the rear window broken out because I accidentally left a camera out - Joey was going to use my spare camera but I forgot to give it to him. I didn't realize this until we were to far along the trail to go back. While I was prepared to see a break-in, I wasn't prepared to find the car had been stolen! We both looked at each other, that was when I realized he thought the car was gone too. It turns out it was still there, a large pickup truck was parked next to us and completely blocked the car from our view. The camera was also right where I left it.

I was exhausted! Joey offered to drive but, having seen Disturbia more times than I can count, I told him I was okay to drive. (If you don't get the reference, I suggest watching the movie - a modern take on Rear Window.) We headed back along Rt 80 towards our reward - The After! I've written of The After before, a childhood favorite restaurant in Flanders that we introduced the kids to when my daughter started school in Pennsylvania. We don't get there as much since she graduated so it is regarded as a special treat. We had our dinner, I got my ice cream and then we headed for home. We arrived home some time around 7:00 PM, having left at a little past 9:00 AM, exhausted and filled with memories that will last a lifetime.

Bears 🐻 and Snakes 🐍

I mentioned bears and snakes earlier in the story and wanted to touch upon the subject before I finish. It is important to understand that this is bear country and the possibility of an encounter is ever-present. I wasn't too concerned on this trip due to the large number of people on the trail, the bears nature is to avoid human contact so it would have been very unusual for one to be anywhere in the area. The mountain is also home to New Jersey's only two (2) venomous snakes - the timber rattlesnake and copperhead. I have a friend who frequents Mount Tammany and just this year he has encountered rattlesnakes more than once. They love to get into crevices of rocks and so you should never put a hand or foot somewhere that you cannot see into. I would suggest reading about snakes and bears prior to visiting this area, know what to look for and what to do if you have an encounter - the life you safe may be your own.

I hope you have enjoyed reading about our adventure - I know I enjoyed reliving it while writing this and will relive the adventure, treasuring the memories, until my last breath.

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Notes:
¹ Propel is a zero-calorie sports drink and comes in a variety of flavors. If you're curious, we had Mandarin Orange and Black Cherry on this trip. 😉

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All photos are copyright Joseph S. Valencia All Rights Reserved They may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use any of the photos you may contact the photographer at valencia32photo@gmail.com

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Ice Cream, Oh How I Love You!

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

I can't remember if I first heard that rhyme from my grandmother or her sister, Inez. Now, I don't know about you but I love ice cream and so did Inez! If it were up to me ice cream would be it's own food group and we would be required to eat at least one serving with each meal.

Last week's stroll down Memory Lane was all about my grandmother and popcorn (Popcorn and Sleeping at Grandma's house), this week is all about ice cream! Ice cream, for me, is more than a delicious cold treat, it is a big part of my life with scores of memories in each scoop. When I was growing up I spent two (2) weeks each summer visiting Inez along with my brother and sister. This was the highlight of my summer and it usually started right around July 4th. My grandmother's other sister, Viola, would host a big family reunion and then we would go from there to Inez's. She lived in a big farmhouse that belonged to my great-grandparents and it had a small, enclosed porch in the back. This porch housed the most important appliance in the house - a large chest freezer! The freezer had three or four compartments and I remember the furthest one from the door was filled with ice cream. All kinds of ice cream! Every night we would get a big bowl of ice cream to eat while watching television - shows like Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Chiller Theatre, Creature Feature and The Twilight Zone - just to name my favorites. I often had butterscotch and maybe chopped nuts on mine. If we had gone out to eat for dinner it is quite possible we had ice cream for dessert but that wouldn't stop us from having it while watching television, too.

It has been more than 40 years since I spent a summer there - my siblings and I replaced by cousins - and the house, unfortunately, is no longer in the family but I still love having ice cream while watching television at night. I don't have a chest freezer (yet) and don't have ice cream every night but when I do I am instantly transported back to Flanders and the green vinyl easy chair that I sat in. When I was little we both sat in the chair together but as I got older the chair became "my spot" when I was there.

Not all of my ice cream memories come from my summers in Flanders and not all involve watching television. I can't eat a Good Humor bar - especially the Strawberry Shortcake - without thinking of church, Dilger's Market and my aunts, Chris and Cindy. I will explain. Most Sunday mornings I would go to Sunday School and then go back to my grandmother's house. There would be me, my brother and sister, and my aunts, who are only 10 and 11 years older than I. On the way home from church we would stop at Dilger's Market where my grandmother would get her newspapers and we would each get a Good Humor bar - I typically got the Strawberry Shortcake. I don't know when the market closed but it has been a very long time and I don't believe any store took it's place; the building is still there, boarded up and long since abandoned but I got a craving for a Strawberry Shortcake Good Humor bar....

Then there is Dairy Queen. My Little League team, the Lions, was coached by Mr. Marks. The Marks' lived a couple houses away from me and Johnny was one of my first friends when we moved there shortly after my 5th birthday. Mr. Marks coached Little League since before we even started playing and everyone in the neighborhood who played baseball played for the Lions. There were no exceptions that I know of. We always had a really good team and won most of the time. When we won we would all pile into a few cars - back then it was okay - and go to Dairy Queen for a celebratory ice cream cone. The big treat was the addition of the hard shell coating that we got on the cones. Years later I worked for a company just a few miles from the same Dairy Queen and would go there for lunch some days. Guess what I had for dessert when I did.... Every time I see a Dairy Queen I think of baseball, Little League and the friends I played with.

My parents used to take us to Carvel for an occasional treat. I remember that my "usual" was a sundae with vanilla soft serve and wet walnut topping. I still love that sundae but there aren't a lot of Carvel's around anymore. The one that we used to frequent is still an ice cream place but it is a privately owned store.

I think this is a good place to stop - I could go on for a while and have more stories but I heard you are supposed to "leave them wanting more" and so I stop. What are your ice cream inspired memories? What is your favorite flavor? I'd love to hear from you.

Popcorn and Sleeping at Grandma's house

My wife and I visited with my aunt yesterday and she was telling us about a conversation she had with one of her grandchildren. He wanted to tell her that they ran out of "Grandma Cookies" and needed more. She is known for her cookies and her grandchildren look forward to the care packages. She turned to me and asked if there was something that my grandmother did and then she answered herself with "Pepperidge Farm Coconut Cake". That has been one of my favorite cakes for as long as I can remember, I also loved my grandmother's lemon bundt cake with lemon glaze. These are very strong cherished memories but the #1 thing is popcorn! I don't know if my grandmother made popcorn for me because I loved it or if I loved it because my grandmother made it for me. I do know that whenever I sit down with a bowl of popcorn, I am a kid again, sitting on my grandmother's couch watching television.

I have read that popcorn is a healthy, low-fat, low-calorie snack - yeah, maybe, but not the good popcorn. I want my popcorn popped in oil and covered in melted butter and salt. The "good for you" stuff is popped with hot air with little to no butter - you can salt that stuff for days and nothing will stick to it. You may as well be eating a rice cake....

When I was growing up the big treat was spending the night at my grandmother's house. I remember begging to go over on a Saturday night. I would sleep on the couch in the living room where I would lie and watch television - often it was the "NBC Saturday Night at the Movies". If memory serves me correctly the first time I ever saw "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" was when it ran on Saturday Night at the Movies. It was always a treat staying at my grandmother's house but what stands out most is having popcorn. She would pop it on the stove in a big pot and then put it in individual bowls with lots of salt and butter. There was also a glass of milk to go with it - I don't think I ever drank a soda in her house. For me, the popcorn was a great treat but the real treat were the pieces that stuck to the bottom of the pot and got a bit burned. You know the ones I mean - they are perfectly white but they have that one, flat, side that is black. I loved those! That is not something you can get any way other than cooking in a pot with oil - well, Jiffy Pop was good for the burnt kernels, too!

When I got older and lived on my own I would use a pot and make popcorn like my grandmother used to make. I then read somewhere that a wok was the best vessel for popping so I tried it. It was great! There were a number of advantages - it was easier to shake, it held more popcorn and it actually used less oil. There came a time when the wok was used only for popcorn and we bought a new one for everything else. One reason for this is because after a while there were spots where the burnt popcorn left remnants. That wok is long gone and replaced by a popper with a rotating handle. This is a great popper but by keeping the kernels moving they don't get a chance to burn.... I am tempted to let it sit for a minute when the popping is done but the rest of the family doesn't like the smell and I am afraid to leave it too long and end up with that big black mass of cinder you get when you really over do it.

So, are you a popcorn lover? How do you pop yours? Do you eat it "straight" - butter and salt - or do you like it flavored? Cheese? Caramel? Spicy? What about microwave popcorn? I didn't even get into that. I like microwave popcorn for the convenience but prefer the old-fashioned way. Now for the most important question - where do you stand on the burnt kernels? Let me know in the comments below.

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Image attribution

popcorn-782310
Image by delgraphica from Pixabay

popcorn-1554170
Image by 41330 from Pixabay

The Ups and Downs of Roller Coasters and Kids

Roller Coasters

I fell in love with riding roller coasters when I was 15 years old. My first "real" roller coaster was Space Mountain at Walt Disney World in Florida. It was our family vacation in February 1975 and the ride opened only the month before. If you aren't familiar with the ride, it is an indoor roller coaster designed to simulate space flight - including re-entry. You are in the dark with the only light coming from the illuminated sides of the cars. I first rode with my father and, I will admit, I was rather frightened. In the end, I enjoyed it so much I couldn't wait to go back on! I did go back, alone, one more time before we left and I was officially hooked on coasters. I got back to Disney only one more time - my parents took my family on a trip in January 2000 - and I rode Space Mountain again. This trip I discovered the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster featuring Aerosmith. This, too, is an indoor coaster and I rode it twice (three times?) - one after the other.

My experience with roller coasters was mostly a lonely one but for the few times we were with friends who enjoy the thrill. I was hoping to get my children as coaster companions and I did, to a degree.

Kiddie Coasters

I mentioned being in Disney with the kids - they were 6 1/2 and 5 and too young for roller coasters. Well, not quite. There was a "kiddie coaster" that they wanted to ride - it may have been Goofy's Barnstormer - and they wanted me to ride with them. I'm not sure how many times we rode it but it was more than once and it was a tight fit each time. I believe this was their only roller coaster encounter until we went to Dorney Park for the first time a few years later.

The Woodstock Express is a kiddie coaster at Dorney Park - it doubles as a torture device for their parents. This was a ride they wanted to go on a lot! I'm guessing we went at least three or four times and they loved it; I think I had bruises on my legs for days afterward due to small cars and bracing myself so as to not bang into the kids. The sacrifices we make.... It was during that trip that I first discovered Steel Force. The first drop is 205' and during the ascent you cannot see anything but the trees and then the park laid out in front of you. Unlike every other roller coaster I have been on, you cannot see the track or walkway on the ascent - you feel like you are suspended in air! It didn't take long before I started to get uneasy (I absolutely hate the ascent) and decided to focus on the head of the person in front of me; when his head was gone I knew I was about to go over the top. What a wild ride! There was also a green, looping coaster called "Laser" and the wooden coaster, "Thunderhawk". I rode them all - alone.

We went back to Dorney Park in 2008 and this time I was able to avoid Woodstock and I got both kids on a coaster that I cannot remember the name of but it is similar to "Trailblazer" at Hershey Park. That is a reasonably mild coaster and from there I was able to convince them to try "Thunderhawk". That was a big step for them but they survived and enjoyed themselves. I thought I would press my luck and get them on Steel Force but they wouldn't go. I knew my daughter wasn't going to like it but worked on my son (13 at the time) and finally convinced him to ride with me. This was, without a doubt, the most fun I have ever had on a roller coaster!

YAY! We survived Steel Force!

Steel Force

This was quite a big leap for someone who had just ridden his first "real" roller coaster earlier in the day. He was doing great until we started to climb. That is the first time I heard him say, "I hate you!" but, believe me, it was not the last! It became his mantra throughout the ride, interrupted only by an occasional, "I can't breathe!" Now, before you think I am heartless or that he was in distress - he was able to breathe. He repeated "I hate you!" and "I can't breathe!" right up to when we slowed down before entering the station. By this time my side hurt and I had tears rolling down my face from laughing. He looked at me and let me know that he enjoyed the ride. I asked if he wanted to go on again, "NO!" That was good, I can only take the ride once per outing.

Laser

Laser was a green, looping roller coaster at Dorney Park. I had ridden it a few times in previous trips and now I was hoping to take my son for a ride. I figured, after Steel Force, it would be an easy sale. "NO! I am not going on a looping roller coaster!" Well, maybe I was wrong. I worked on him a little bit, told him after Steel Force this was like riding Woodstock Express; after a few minutes he relented. However, he was only going to go on it once! There was no hate on this ride and everyone was able to breathe just fine. When the ride was over he looked at me and asked, "Can we go again?" Sure! Why not?

Trailblazer

It has been quite some time since we've all gone to an amusement park together. Last month we took a family vacation to Hershey Park, along with my daughter's boyfriend. The first ride we hit was Trailblazer and all four of us went - my wife doesn't "do" coasters of any kind. It was fun to be back on a coaster with the kids and we ended up on Trailblazer twice but with time in-between. Trailblazer doesn't go very high or very fast but there are some nice, tight turns and the ride is quite smooth. I heard some chatter from my daughter and boyfriend behind me but can't remember anything more than the normal roller coaster screams. That was the only coaster we all went on that day - in fact, it was the only coaster I went on with my children. I knew my daughter wasn't going to ride others but was a bit disappointed that my son wasn't quite feeling up to it. I did ride the wooden coasters with my daughter's boyfriend and watched with the others while he braved some of the other steel coasters.

What's Next?

I'm afraid my coaster days are winding down and fear this trip may have been the last opportunity to ride with them. I have developed a horrible fear of heights and I get very anxious during the ascent. I experienced this anxiety on each of the wooden coasters I rode at Hershey and was afraid to ride the bigger coasters. This is a new phenomena for me and a very disturbing one. I also found the violent movements of the wooden coasters to be a bit much and was actually sore the next day. I guess it may be back to the "kiddie coasters" for me when it comes time to take grandchildren to the parks.

We Don't Want to Take a Nap!

It's Nap Time!

Ah... naptime! It quickly becomes one of the favorite times of day for any parent. It doesn't even matter who is taking the nap - it could be the kids or you! This story is all about naptime and a little secret weapon you may want to add to your arsenal.

Saturdays

When the kids were small, and still taking naps, my wife worked on Saturdays leaving me with the children. We had a lot of fun on those days - we might go out to lunch, go to the park, play in the yard or, if the weather wasn't great, we would play with big cardboard bricks or the "Lego"-like wipes boxes (empty, of course.) I don't know who had more fun, me or the kids, but the fun was real and we still laugh about some of the stuff to this day.

As much fun as we had there was still the matter of the afternoon nap - necessary to ensure an absence of crankiness as the day wore on; mine and theirs. It started to get progressively more difficult to get them down for a nap but one day the heavens opened and an angel delivered unto me the perfect weapon - deceit! 😇

My wife and I had a wooden, queen-sized bed at the time and the kids started wanting to sleep in it. They were big enough so that I didn't have to worry about them falling out but I tucked them in pretty good anyway. This particular afternoon they were adamantly against going to sleep but I had a plan. Once I got them to lie down in the bed I told them about the "contest".

The Contest

The winner of the contest did not have to take a nap; this got their attention. The rules were simple - they had to lie still, eyes closed and no talking. The kid that stayed awake the longest was the winner and didn't have to take a nap! I started the contest and told them I would be back in a few minutes to see who won. Can you guess who won? Yes, it was me because both kids were asleep almost before I got to the end of the hallway. I have to be honest, I certainly did not expect this to work but it did. When my wife got home we all told her about the contest.

Now, as surprised as I was that the "contest" worked, I was twice as surprised when it worked a second time! Yes, that right! The following Saturday we played the same game at naptime and they fell asleep without a fight. Sadly, this was the last time it worked - despite my best efforts. I even try it now, more than twenty years later, but they just look at me and walk away shaking their heads. Now it seems my wife and I are the only ones who take naps and I am okay with that.

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Both images were obtained from Pixabay and require no attribution.

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MOMMY! DADDY! There's A Monster Under the Bed!

The Roommate

Monsters!

Last month I wrote "Do You Believe In Magic?", a story about my children and some magic sand I bought. The response was better than I expected and I was encouraged to write more stories like that one. This is another story about the kids.

HELP!

My children are eighteen months apart in age and, until my daughter was about five or six, they shared a room. This story takes place during the time they shared the room with an uninvited roommate. It all started one night after my wife and I put the kids to bed. We had settled in to watch some television and enjoy some "quiet time" when we heard someone cry out. We went down the hall to their room to find both of them awake and scared. Apparently there was a monster, maybe even more than one, under their beds.

Tucked Away

My wife and I each looked under a bed only to discover that the monster had gone away. We looked all over - the closet, behind the dresser, behind the curtains, you name it and we looked. When everyone was satisfied that the monster was gone I gave a stern warning to any monsters thinking about visiting the kids. We said goodnight and left them, once again, for the Sandman.

The next night, shortly after saying goodnight we were informed that the monster had returned! It would seem that the monster did not take my warning seriously and decided to test me. Once again, we searched the entire room warning the monster the entire time. The cowardly monster had fled before we could catch him. The warning was repeated, everyone got tucked into bed and the Sandman cometh.

Do I have to tell you what happened the next night? The night after that and the night after that? This damned monster was really starting to become a nuisance! I had visions of this going on for a long time and had to find a way to put an end to it, but how? Have you ever found yourself in a predicament when suddenly the answer comes to you out of nowhere? Yea, it does not happen to me very often either but it happened that night.

The Boots

The Secret Weapon

I winked at my wife, told the kids I would be right back and went to my bedroom. I grabbed a pair of old work boots that I had, returned to the kids’ room and put the boots in the middle of their bedroom floor. I raised my voice and announced to the monster that I was tired of him bothering my children and I was going to stay in their room until he showed his ugly face. I whispered to the kids that the monster can see the shoes but doesn’t know they are empty so he will stay away.

We tucked them in, said goodnight and walked away praying the boots would somehow keep the monster at bay. They slept well that night but the real test was going to come tomorrow.

Sleeping

The next night we put them to bed but before turning out the lights, I announced that I was going to be waiting for the monster and put the boots in the middle of the floor. We went to the living room expecting to hear a scream but it never came. We gave it some time and after about an hour we checked on them – sound asleep. It worked!

I’m not sure how many nights the boots were in their room but I do know we didn’t have to worry about monsters under the beds anymore. The monsters IN the beds – well, that’s another story for another time, but they have turned into some pretty amazing adults so…. 😛

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"The Roommate" - Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

"Tucked Away" - Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

"The Boots" - Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

"Sleeping" - Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

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Do you believe in magic?

So, do you believe in magic? I don't mean the magic in a young girl's heart, I mean real magic. Like stuff mysteriously appearing out of thin air? If you answered, no, then let me take this opportunity to change your mind.

The Magic Sand

This particular feat of magic took place in the late 20^th century in my own backyard. It was the beginning of summer and the kids wanted a sandbox to play in. I was able to find a nice, turtle-shaped sandbox but none of the stores had sand. I spent days trying to find a store with sand, traveling 100's of miles, but there wasn't a grain to be had. I was about to give up when I saw store with a sign in the window reading, "Magic Sand Sold Here." I didn't believe in "magic sand" but I was desperate so I went in.

When I opened the door I immediately saw an old woman sitting behind the counter - she looked to be 100 years old and she turned her head in my direction as I walked in. I told her my tale and that I was desperate for about 200 pounds of sand for my children's sandbox. She held a crooked finger in the air and, with her other hand reached under the counter. When her hand reappeared she was holding a small plastic bag with about a half-cup of sand. I took the bag and laughed! How was I going to fill a sandbox with a half-cup of sand? She told me it was "magic sand", I was to put it in the sandbox, say the magic words, cover the sandbox and the next morning it will be full.

Well... I knew someone was full of something but I was desperate. I paid $10 for the bag of sand and went home to my wife and children. My wife gave me a "look" when I told everyone about the sand and asked if I had any "magic beans", too. It was getting late so we dumped the sand into the sandbox, said the magic words and put the cover on. I'm not sure who was more curious the next morning, me or the kids. We had our breakfast and went outside to check the sandbox. I had already come up with a story about why the sandbox was still empty but, lo and behold!, when we removed the cover the sandbox was full! I know what you are thinking but it's true! You can ask my wife and kids - some time between when the kids went to bed and we finished eating breakfast the sandbox filled up with sand. It truly was magic.

Do you believe now?

Well? Do you?

Let me ask you another question. Have you ever noticed that in the middle of the word "believe" is the word "lie"? I didn't either until earlier this week. Believe me when I tell you that the "magic sand" was a hoax. Yes, that's right! As far as I know, there is no magic sand. I decided to have some fun with the kids. We had already gotten the sandbox and I told them I was going out for sand. I went to Home Depot and bought the 200 pounds I needed and then went to the beach before heading for home. I brought a sandwich bag with me, scooped up some sand and put the bag on the front seat of the car. When I got home I made up the story of the magic sand; we put the sand in the box, said some magic words and covered the box. When they went to bed that night I went outside and filled the sandbox.

The looks on the children's faces when I took off the lid of the sandbox was priceless, unfortunately there are no photos. They truly believed that the sand was magic and couldn't wait to start playing. They spent a lot of time in that sandbox that summer and it always brings a smile to my face when I think about it. It was such a simple thing but the memories will last a lifetime.

Now that I think about it, when I said that the "magic sand" was a hoax I may have been lying just a bit. While the sand didn't magically multiply overnight it did make two young children believe in magic and it gave a family one more wonderful memory. If that isn't magical, I don't know what is.

In Closing

The moral of the story is simple - you don't have to spend a lot of money or go to exotic lands for vacation, a little bit of imagination and spending time together is really what life is all about. My daughter recently posted a meme on her Facebook page that read: "A child is going to remember who was there, not what you spent on them. Kids outgrow a toy & outfits, but they never outgrow time and love." I believe that to be true but would change it a bit. They may remember the expensive gifts or big vacations but they won't cherish them as much as they will time spent together. While the kids outgrew the sandbox (we still have it but it isn't being used) they never outgrew the memory. Children have a way of making us understand what is important in life, if we will only listen.

I hope you enjoyed this trip down Memory Lane and would love to hear from you. Have you done anything similar for your children or your parents do something like this for you? Do you have a favorite family memory that you would like to share? Leave comments below - I love hearing from my readers.

Until next time - enjoy your summer and make sure you are making memories, not just plans!

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Sandbox image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

"Yellow shovel" image is copyright Joseph S. Valencia All Rights Reserved and may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use the image you may contact the photographer at valencia32photo@gmail.com

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What Is Your Summer Music Playlist?

Summer is here!

It's official! Summer is here. I have to admit, summer is my least favorite season but “summer music” is a different story. There are some songs that just scream “SUMMER!”; like just about anything by The Beach Boys. I enjoy listening to “Surfin’ Safari” in December but might crank it up in July. I have written about music before and how it can elicit memories and long since forgotten or help us get through difficult times in our lives. This post is a little different because I think there are some songs that everyone associates with summer and brighten up your mood – I have links to those posts below. At least, that is how it is for me. There are also certain songs that are not necessarily “summer” songs but remind me of summer, if that makes any sense. When I hear the song it brings me back to significant events or memories of summers long past.

I received a portable reel-to-reel tape recorder back in 1973 or 1974 and used to carry it with me, along with a transistor radio. If a song I liked was played, I will record it. Of course, the sound quality was somewhat less than optimal but a kid had to do what a kid had to do. I remember having the tape deck when I was at my great-aunt’s house one summer, sitting in the backyard listening to the radio. It was then that I recorded the Allman Brothers singing “Ramblin’ Man”. It doesn’t matter what I am doing – when that song is played I am a kid sitting in that backyard under the warm sun.

The strongest summer memories, other than “Ramblin’ Man”, are triggered by “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty and “Hot Child in the City” by Nick Gilder. I am automatically transported back to the Summer of ’78, the year I graduated from high school. I have such fond memories of that summer and the songs were still getting a lot of airplay that fall so I also associate them with my first semester at college. It was also that summer that I saw The Beach Boys in concert at Giants Stadium. It was the very first concert held at the stadium and we were on the field. There were three other bands that day but the only other one I remember is the Steve Miller Band. If you look at the album sleeve for “Steve Miller Band Greatest Hits 1974-78” you will see an aerial view of that show!

So, those are songs that remind me of summer by this is about my “Summer Song Playlist” and here are some of the “must haves”, in no particular order.

• Surfin’ Safari – The Beach Boys
• Good Vibrations – The Beach Boys
• California Girls – The Beach Boys
• Surf City – Jan & Dean
• Wipeout – The Surfaris
• Misirlou – Dick Dale and His Del-Tones
• Peter Gunn – Dick Dale and His Del-Tones
• In the Summertime – Mungo Jerry
• Summer in the City – The Lovin’ Spoonful
• Summertime Blues – Eddie Cochran (also The Who)
• Live & Let Die – Paul McCartney & Wings
• Rock Lobster – The B-52’s

I’m sure I am forgetting more than a few and will remember a half dozen as soon as I publish this but I am going to leave the list at an even dozen. I would add that almost any song by The Beach Boys, Jan & Dean or Dick Dale could find a home on this list and I didn’t even go back to the 50’s where I could add at least a few more.

So, I ask you – What are your favorite summer songs? Which ones did I get right? Which ones make you question my sanity and which did I leave off? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have a great summer!

Here are the previous posts that I mentioned earliers:
The Power of Music - http://ramblewithjoe.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-power-of-music.html
Remember When the Music - http://ramblewithjoe.blogspot.com/2017/04/remember-when-music.html

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All photos are copyright Joseph S. Valencia All Rights Reserved They may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use any of the photos you may contact the photographer at valencia32photo@gmail.com

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Happy Thanksgiving! Please Pass the Pasta.

I always looked forward to Thanksgiving when I was growing up but not necessarily for the same reason as a lot of other people. It wasn't about the food, it was all about seeing family. You see, I couldn't care less about all of the food. In fact, I looked forward to it in spite of the food! I am one of a very small minority (or so it seems) who doesn't eat turkey. I don't eat any fowl whatsoever. The truth is, I don't even like being in the same room as someone eating it. It has been this way for as long as I can remember. The last time I ever attempted to eat fowl was during the Summer of 1978 - I was visiting my girlfriend and her mother asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. I accepted the invitation, not knowing that barbecue chicken was on the menu. I remember eating it and wishing for a quick death. It's been even longer since I had a hot dog, but I digress.

As I mentioned, I looked forward to Thanksgiving not for the feast but for the company. Most of my family lived in New Jersey and I saw them throughout the year but one of my mothers' sisters lived in Massachusetts with her family; I usually only got to see them at Thanksgiving and Christmas. My two (2) aunts are only 10 and 11 years older than I and growing up were more like older sisters to me. I never called either "Aunt" until I had kids of my own. I don't know if they know it or not but they both played a big part in who I am today and were a big influence.

Thanksgiving was the day we all got together at my grandmother's house for dinner - there was my grandmother and her two (2) sisters, my uncle with his family and my aunts with their families. It got pretty crowded but no one seemed to care. It got particularly crowded around the fireplace if it was a cold day. I don't remember exactly when but at some point the Thanksgiving dinner was moved from my grandmother's house to my parents. There was more room and, at times, more people but it wasn't quite the same. Then my parents sold the house and moved to Florida, they came back for Thanksgiving and stayed through Christmas but dinner had moved to my aunt’s house. There were even more people and more room, even a fireplace, but it still wasn’t Grandma’s house….

Once I got married and started my own family we would split time between the families, more times than not I think we had dinner with my family and dessert with my wife’s family. I cannot remember the last time my entire family got together for Thanksgiving but I know it has been at least 10 years. Family members have moved away and some have died. We are now spread out – East Coast, North and South – even a different country!

The last few years we have stayed at home for Thanksgiving dinner. We have the traditional turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, etc…. but we also have pasta. There was always pasta at my in-laws’ and there is always pasta at my home. This year is no exception. There have been years when my wife has to work until early afternoon so my kids would do the cooking – my job is to make the dinner rolls. The dinner rolls have been my job for at least 20 years, maybe more. I think I was up to about 4 dozen at one time.

I miss the old days a lot sometimes, as hectic as they could be. I would love to be able to stand in front of my grandmother’s fireplace just one more time after dinner, talking to my aunts and great-aunts. I enjoyed talking to my uncle, of course, but after dinner it was difficult because he was usually asleep on the couch. He could eat a ton and sleep through an air raid siren!

I am thankful for the memories I have and for the memories that are made every day. I am thankful for my wife and kids, as well as my extended family. I am thankful for those who have stuck by me in good times and especially for those who have stuck by me in the bad times. I am thankful for my friends, both old and new. I am thankful that I have an opportunity to give back to the community through volunteering for a couple great causes – it is more fulfilling than I could have ever imagined.

Thank you for stopping by and sticking around long enough to read this closing paragraph. I am also thankful for you, the readers of my posts, for indulging me. I find great joy and satisfaction in writing that I never expected. I wish all of my fellow countrymen a Happy Thanksgiving!

Emotion and Memory Triggers - What Makes You Happy? Sad?

Has this ever happened to you; you're sitting in your living room watching television when you suddenly feel yourself smiling for no apparent reason. Maybe you can no longer listen to a song you always loved. It could be a smell that elicits a fond memory or even a single word. These are just a few of what I call “emotional triggers” that can make you happy, sad, mad, nostalgic, etc.…. You may not even realize it; I know it happens to me sometimes. The funny thing is that the same trigger may make you happy one time and sad the next.

For me, smell seems to be the biggest trigger and it almost always brings me back to my youth. There are times when I’m not even sure the smell actually exists and that it is just a figment of my imagination. It is almost like I am subconsciously thinking of something and then my brain conjures up the smell, triggering the memory. I’m sure a psychiatrist would love to get me on a couch and analyze that!

The smell of lavender instantly brings memories of my maternal grandmother and the smell of a baked ham will always mean Easter at her house. The smell of pipe tobacco is a strong trigger – my great-uncle, Verner, smoked a pipe, as did my uncle, George, and my father-in-law, Mike. Now that I think of it, maybe the “phantom” smell isn’t so odd – I remember speaking with my great-aunt, Inez, shortly after Verner’s death and she told me that there were times when she would turn expecting to see him because she could smell his tobacco. Tomato sauce (yes – sauce, not gravy) cooking on the stove always reminds me of my mother making sauce on Sunday.

There is a certain smell or combination of smells, that reminds me of being at my Aunt Sissy’s house on a Sunday afternoon but I just can’t describe what it is, but I can tell you that whenever I eat a black olive or see a kid putting them on their fingers I am instantly drawn into her kitchen. That clean smell you get stepping outside on a morning when the grass is covered in dew – that brings me to Inez’s house and the time I spent there in the summer growing up.

There are verbal or audible triggers, too. If I am watching any sporting event and someone complains about a call, or lack thereof, I hear the words coming out of my mother-in-law, Joyce’s mouth. She was quite a passionate fan of the New York Giants and let the officials know when they weren’t doing their jobs – especially when the Dallas Cowboys were the opponent. The word “melancholy” brings mixed emotions – my grandmother told a story one time of when she was growing up; apparently she had quite a difficult time pronouncing the word and put the emphasis on the second syllable instead of the first. She told that story more than 40 years ago and it is the first thing I think of whenever I hear or read that word. If I hear “Lassie” or even the theme song I think of my children, the kids absolutely loved the 1994 movie and there were days when it might get played three times in a row! It would be on when we were building towers out of cardboard blocks or building something with the plastic Lego-style boxes that wipes came in. There are a lot of words that elicit memories of the children growing up – far too many to even count.

I mentioned songs in the introduction and there are plenty. I wrote about The Power of Music and how certain songs trigger very specific memories. I wrote in that post about Harry Chapin’s song, Circle, and that I cannot listen to it anymore, especially the live version. There are a couple reasons – the first being that Harry closed every show with that song; it contains the line “we’ll all be together again” but we won’t. The other reason is because it makes me think of friends and family who have died and it makes me sad. The other song I wrote about is Ringo Starr’s, Photograph. I loved that song growing up but since Ringo introduced it at The Concert for George; he said that since George died the song had new meaning and, like Circle, listening to it makes me melancholy. (Note: I just smiled when I wrote that – did not intend to use melancholy….)

Songs also trigger great memories like Pete Seeger singing There Was an Old Woman or Tom Chapin singing The Cousins are Coming and Bruno. These were songs that we listened to when the kids were young. We took them to see Pete Seeger perform at a Clearwater Festival at Sandy Hook when they were maybe 3 and 5. I printed a couple pictures and put something on them about how the kids loved Pete and we gave them to one of his stage hands after the show. We tried to meet him but they wouldn’t let us in. A week or so after the show a letter showed up addressed to the kids – it was from Pete! Can’t Help Falling in Love and In My Life are special songs; I proposed to my wife dancing to the former and our first dance after we were married was to the latter. I don’t dance anymore but don’t really have an option if they are played at a wedding reception or other event….

There are the visual triggers. My first car was a blue 1966 Chevy and whenever I see a blue car of that era I immediately think of it and Inez. The car was a gift from her; she promised it to me when she bought it, when I started to drive she would give it to me. Well, I had to wait almost two years after I started driving it but I finally got it. It was a four door, “three on the tree” and had no radio. I only had the car for a few months in 1978 when I was rear-ended at a stop sign. The car was totaled. This was just before Christmas and I was afraid of how she was going to take the news when I saw her. I don’t remember her reaction but we all got through it so it couldn’t have been too bad.

Watching the Little League World Series reminds me of my days playing Little League and then watching my son play. The same goes for the College Softball Championships – my daughter played softball and I have fond memories of watching both. If I see someone skiing I think back to the first time I ever skied – my wife and I went on a trip shortly after we started dating. I caught on fairly well and decided to go to an intermediate slope. We were taught how to snow plow in order to stop and it worked quite well. The problem is that I was going rather fast and when I tried to snow plow the tips of my skis crossed causing me to come to an abrupt stop – this is very much like applying only the front brake on a bicycle. I went tumbling head-over-heels before coming to a stop in a heap at the bottom of the hill. The goggles I was wearing had pulled away from my face long enough to get filled with snow and then go back in place. Embarrassing…

I also think of my wife whenever I see a clown or Harpo Marx. The first Halloween we were together she dressed as a clown and I had a picture of her on my desk at work. My co-workers had never met her and that was the only photo I had. She came into the office one day and when I introduced her one of them said “So, you are the clown.” I got a “look” until I showed her the photo on my desk. She was Harpo a year or two later.

I could go on for a long time, so many triggers to so many memories, but I think this is a good time to stop. What are your triggers? Let me know in the comments below.

Advice to Fathers - Listen to "Cat's in the Cradle"

"My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away"

The snippet above starts the song Cat's in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. It is one of his biggest hits and it was a big influence on the father I became. If you are not familiar with the song I have a link to the YouTube video below.

The song is all about the father-son relationship and how they get so wrapped up in life they have little time for what really matters - each other. When I was growing up the circumstance was quite similar; my father worked during the day, came home for dinner and then went to a second job not coming home until after 10:00 PM. He didn't work on Friday night but worked the second job for a half day on Saturday. This meant he was home on Friday night, Saturday afternoon/evening and all day on Sunday. There was some family time but there was also time when he was busy - working in the garage (he did woodworking), working in the yard or a combination of both. I was able to help a bit but mostly I could watch if I was home. What I remember most is going to dinner at my favorite pizzeria and visiting my father’s family on Sundays. He never got to see me play sports, didn't get to chaperone class trips or see me perform in variety shows at school. As I got older I decided that I was going to do everything I could not to miss out on my children's growing up.

When I heard Cat's in the Cradle for the first time there was an instant connection. This was the essence of my life and the antithesis to my plans. You can say that it became my anthem. I have had a number of opportunities to work in Manhattan, very good opportunities, but I turned down most because of the lost time at home. When the kids were about 8 and 10 I had no choice but to take a contract job in Manhattan. This was during softball/baseball season and I missed every one of their weekday practices and games. It so happens that many of the weekend games got rained out during that time. Until that time I was at every practice, game and school event that I could; definitely anything after work. I will never have that time back and I was happy when the contract ended.

For me it is a quality of life issue; I could make a lot of money and miss out on life or make enough money to life comfortably and make a life worth living. I think I made the right choice. My kids are in their 20's now but they still remember the times we played together or did other activities. For me, that is worth more than money, you cannot buy memories like that.

So, my advice for you first-time fathers or fathers-yet-to-be is to listen to Cat's in the Cradle and learn the lesson being taught. The boy in the song wanted to grow up to be like his father and, to the chagrin of the father, he did!

Harry Chapin - Cat's In The Cradle

Interview with Songwriter Dave Evans

Dave is a friend of more than 10 years and, with this interview, we have come full circle. You see, we met when Dave called me in for a job interview in 2006 for a programming job he was looking to fill. It was a strange interview because it was more like a couple friends having coffee than a job interview and it turned out we became good friends. We held many of the same beliefs, professionally, which led to my being hired but it was music that we most talked about.

We are both fans of the music of the 1960’s – The Beatles, in particular – and we had many discussions during the day and at lunch. While we both lived through Beatlemania and have our memories, Dave is older than I so he has more vivid memories and from a different perspective. It is always interesting to talk to someone who remembers what it was like and when Dave talks about those days you can see the excitement is almost as fresh as it was more than 50 years ago.

Despite all of the talk of music, it was months before I discovered that Dave wrote music. If memory serves me my introduction to Dave’s music was “Mary’s Song”. I instantly connected with the song and it remains my favorite Dave Evans original. I have heard the song come from rough, fast song to a love ballad that really captivates you. I have been fortunate to experience the songwriting process through the last 10 years – sometimes I get an excited text message about song that is nothing but a new chord progression and a few minutes later I am listening to a rough recording. There are other times when the lyrics come and I get a recording of his working through the melody. I am always impressed by the end result – he has a talent that many of us would love to have – but I think what is really interesting, for me, is his enthusiasm throughout the process. His songs are his children (though he has more than a few) and he nurtures them as such, always worried if he is doing them justice or if he could have done something better. If you ask me, he has served his children well – both human and music – and they represent him well.

Personal questions

What is your favorite childhood memory?

Wow, that's a tough one because there were a few... I'd have to say the first time I saw the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. I was with my dad and we lived on the fifth floor. As soon as the show was over I ran to the window and saw three of my friends down on the corner yelling up to me to come down and join them... I was not allowed to go out on Sundays nights at that time so I just turned around and gave my dad that sad look you give when you really want something... He seemed to realize that this was a special time and told me to go down and see my friend BUT to only stay right on the corner so he could see me from the window... It was awesome cause as soon as I got to the corner the four of us formed our Band and spent the rest of the night (1 hour) thinking of names for the band. Every car that passed from Mustang to Montego was considered... The funny thing is I don't remember what name we decided on but I'll never forget the experience... And yes, we did play a few gigs...

What are the five foods you can’t live without?

I love so many foods it's scary BUT I have to admit I'm addicted to Potato Chips... I can give up cookies, Chocolate and Ice Cream but I just can't seem to give up the Chips... I LOVE Prime Rib when I go out to eat and Veal Parmesan when in an Italian restaurant but I can do without them...
(Joe: I think potato chips are the downfall for most of us – I don’t think there is ever a bag that is “big enough”)

What’s the best advice anyone has given you and who gave it to you?

My Dad always gave me good advice. He would tell me to judge people by what they do and not by what they say and boy has that proven to be true... He would also tell me that money wasn't everything but to remember I had to pay the bills and Shoprite didn't accept Titles or job descriptions, only money.
(Joe: that’s great advice, all of it.)

What is your favorite thing to do when you aren't making music?

Another good question... I love reading, playing on the computer, learning new things and meeting new people... In the summer I LOVE being on the beach. I keep my umbrella and beach chair in the car all summer so I'm ready to go at a moment’s notice... I like getting there early in the morning and staying till at least 1 or 2 in the afternoon, then I walk the boardwalk at night. It is fascinating to me all the different people and couples you see when you walk the boardwalk.

If you could spend an hour with any famous person, past or present, who would it be and why?

Only ONE!!! Musically I guess it would be John Lennon because I always liked his music and songwriting... I would LOVE to have both John AND Paul in the same room and talk about each of their songs and what they were thinking when they wrote them... I would also love to compare my songwriting process with theirs and see if we do it the same way... History wise I would love to sit down with Abraham Lincoln and talk about what he was feeling during the Civil War and how he arrived at some of the decisions he made during those times. I would also like to ask the "Founding Fathers" how they feel about where our country is going and if it's where they thought it would be when they first formed it... I know, I cheated...
(Joe: interesting choices – not sure we are ready to hear from our “Founding Fathers”, though)

Professional questions

Why music?

I love music and can't picture my life without it. The funny thing is I always wrote words, I guess you would call them poems, with a musical idea in my head BUT I never actually put real music to them. When my late wife Mary passed away I started playing the guitar again (after stopping when I was 13), probably to take my mind off of her passing. One of the first songs I wrote was Mary's Song which I still have trouble performing live without getting emotional. Over time my music changed from sad to less sad to sometimes happy... It's been 13 years now and hopefully my music has evolved enough where it has many moods and generates many different feelings.
(Joe: I can tell you; YES, your music (and recording) has evolved many-fold over the intervening years and continues to evolve. Dave & I collaborated on a video for "Mary's Song" that you can view on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLCSDKycY10)

Can you explain your music in 10 words or less?

I can do it in one, FEELINGS... I write songs to either generate feelings or express my feelings. It is my way of saying things I have trouble saying without music. Every song I write is saying something, either explicitly or buried somewhere within it. They are not all heavy messages or statements BUT if they are not saying something I won't write them.

What is your greatest musical achievement?

Every song I write... I always considered myself a songwriter and not a performer so to me it's the song that's important, not my performance of it. I just hope I do them justice when I record them. Every song I write has something to say, I just hope I say it in a way that other people hear the message.

If you could open up for any artist, past or present, who would it be?

Obviously The Beatles but we all know that can't happen so maybe Elton John or Bob Seger. How about Tom Petty or Train...? The Eagles would be cool too. Can I throw in Elvis and Buddy Holly???

Where do you draw inspiration from when you write/play/sing songs and what’s your favorite part about the process?

I usually start off by writing about a situation I'm experiencing or feeling. Sometimes I stay with that throughout the entire song or I stray into other things to expand the experience. Other times I picture myself in a different situation and write about how I would feel being there. An example of the latter is "Life Wasted" where I was writing about a man who only cared about money and not his family. I was trying to write about how he would feel when he was older and had no family around him. I was putting myself in that situation because I have a very close relationship with my family and had to guess how I would feel. Yes, it's all about feelings for me.

Bonus question:

What are your Top 5 "Deserted Island" albums?

WOW only 5!!! OK, Bod Seger's Live Bullet, Cat Stevens Tea for the Tillerman, Led Zeppelin's Led Zeppelin II, Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and The Beatle's White Album... The reason I picked the White Album instead of Abbey Road, Revolver or Rubber Soul is because there are more songs on it... hahaha

Dave has an Artist page on BandCamp where you can listen to more of his music, as well as purchase songs. His page is https://daveevanssolo.bandcamp.com/ and I encourage you to check it out as soon as you finish reading this post.

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All photos are copyright Alexander DiMauro All Rights Reserved They may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use any of the photos you may contact the photographer at ajdimauro@gmail.com

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