Showing posts with label volunteer. Show all posts

Thursday, August 15, 2019

The Two Most Important Days in Your Life

The Quote

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. - Mark Twain

I saw this quote while watching JEOPARDY! one night; I immediately looked it up and bookmarked it. What a powerful quote! It got me thinking about the "why" and whether I have found mine yet.

I filed it away but started really thinking about it a few days later. At first I decided it was wrong - there are far more than two important days in many of our lives; getting married, having children, choosing a career, etc... Then I realized he wasn't just talking about important days but the most important days - what a difference that one word makes. Even when I made the distinction between "important" and "most important" I had trouble; I guess the trouble is that I think there are more than two days.

We don't have any say in the first day - we don't ask to be born and don't pick the circumstances - but the second day is the truly special one. I don't think we have a say in the "second" day, either; I think it just happens and we may not even notice for a long time. Naturally, the days that my children were born would have to be the most important for that was when I became responsible for someone other than myself. That is a shared "most important" day as I share that responsibility with my wife. There are other monumental events that would fall into the same category; meeting my wife, getting married, choosing a profession, etc... but I think the quote points to something a bit more abstract.

I have given this a lot of thought and think I know the second day. It would have been some time around mid-October in 2007 - the day I first volunteered for the JDRF Walk for a Cure in Avon-by-the-Sea, New Jersey. I didn't know it at the time but that would be the first of many times I have volunteered for a good cause. The first year I worked in the "Counting Room" going thru envelopes and counting money. It felt good to be helping but....

My "Why"

Team Photographer for JDRF - 2008 thru 2013

In 2008 I volunteered as a Team Photographer and continued in the job thru 2013. It was while volunteering as a photographer I learned the "why" but I don't think I realized it for a few years. You see, photography has always been something I loved and it was something I did primarily for me (you can read about my obsession here - Why Photography?). I would show my work to people but the underlying reason for shooting was to satisfy something deep inside of me. Volunteering as a photographer allowed me to use my skills to help others. Participants in the walk were so happy to have a group photo, it made me feel good that I could give them something in return for their supporting diabetes research. After the 2013 walk it was time for me to move on.

Event Photographer - 2014 thru ?

Immediately after deciding not to return to the JDRF walks I started looking for new opportunities. I had been wanting to volunteer with American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) for a few years but always forgot until I saw someone post they had just walked.... I also wanted to get involved with the Lustgarten Foundation. Within days of my last JDRF walk, I found local Lustgarten Foundation and AFSP walks; they weren't until June and September, respectively, but I wrote right away. I got my answer from both rather quickly - YES! I wasn't going to be a Team Photographer - I was going to be an Event Photographer. I covered both events in 2014 and started looking for more - in 2018 I covered six (6) between May and November. I truly believe this is my "why", as well as why I was given the gift of photography.

Working as an event photographer is hard work but it may very well be the most rewarding work I have ever done. I get to meet some truly incredible people, while collecting memories of the day for them to re-live over and over again. Someone asked me if I got paid for my work, I replied, "Yes, with smiles, laughs, high-fives and 'thank-you's!" That is far more satisfying than money will ever be.

So, while I can't pinpoint an exact date, I do believe I know when I discovered my "why." Have you found yours? If so, what did you find? Let me know in the comment section below.

Monday, May 7, 2018

Did you know - May is Bladder Cancer Awareness Month?

May is Bladder Cancer Awareness Month

Looking over Mary Ann's shoulder

I know that May is Mental Health Awareness Month but had no idea it was also Bladder Cancer Awareness Month. Chances are, until now, you didn’t either.

I listen to NJ 101.5 FM on my drive home most days and a couple weeks ago I heard Bill Doyle, one of the hosts – talk about the upcoming Walk to end Bladder Cancer in Bradley Beach. Bill is a survivor and talked about participating in the walk. My weekend was clear so I thought I could contact the organizer, Mary Ann, and see if I could volunteer. Lucky for me, she said “Yes.”

The Walk

Mary Ann & Team Jack Aregood

The walk is held on the 1st Saturday in May and was begun by Mary Ann in 2011 to honor her late husband, Jack. The first event drew 23 walkers, the majority of whom were family. This year there were about 175 walkers but it is still very much a family affair with three generations taking part in the day’s activities. Jack lost his battle in 2008 and Mary Ann is on a mission to fund research and bring attention to this seldom talked about disease. Bladder cancer is the 6th most commonly diagnosed cancer and affects men at a rate 4x that of women. In spite of this, there is not a lot of attention being paid to the disease; many, me included, probably never gave it a thought.

Mary Ann addressing the crowd

I arrived at 11:15 Am to meet Mary Ann and get some instructions as to the day’s activities. Registration starts @ 12:00, walk @ 1:00 after some brief words from Mary Ann and Alejandra. There would be a presentation of the banner and then the walk would begin. The participants walk from one end of Bradley Beach to the other and back – about 2 miles in all.

Alejandra addressing the crowd

A little after 1:00 everyone started on their 2 mile journey, I try to capture everyone on their way out and then when they return but always being mindful that I am there for them – not the other way around. My intention is to stay out of the way and try to capture candid moments but it isn’t always an easy task. After the last walker leaves the Start Line I usually turn my attention to the oft-overlooked volunteers. There wasn’t a lot for me to do at this event because there were only three volunteers who were not also walking with the rest. This gave me some downtime to check out some of the literature and think about what I was going to do when everyone started to return. I enjoy covering the return more than the start – at the beginning, most people are somewhat businesslike – but something seems to happen to them along the way and there is more playfulness when they return. They are far more likely to “play” for the camera and have some fun.

and they're off!

Some thoughts

My day was done by 2:30; I had done all I could do and most participants had left. It is always a big letdown at the end of the day and today was no exception. This is the smallest event that I have covered but only in size – the enthusiasm and heart rivals all the others. Everyone has their reason for being there, whether it is their own battle with bladder cancer or honoring a loved one. It is deeply personal, everyone is there for their own reasons but they are all bound by a common thread – bringing awareness to the disease in the hope that others don’t have to experience what they have. I am glad that I had an opportunity to volunteer and cover this walk; I am already looking forward to next year. This is the first time I have volunteered for an event that I didn’t have a personal connection to but now I feel that I do; I will think about the survivors that I met like Bill and Fred. I will also keep with me those who were less fortunate, like Jack, and their families.

The Many Faces of Bladder Cancer

I mentioned Alejandra earlier but didn’t tell you who she is. She is the Education and Research Manager for the Bladder Cancer Advocacy Network (BCAN) and came from the northwest part of the state to be there with her family for the walk at The Shore. I got to spend some time getting to know her and learn more about the organization and bladder cancer. She is a hard-working advocate and the community couldn’t ask for anyone better to be by their side in this fight.

Thank you!

Team Fred

To everyone at BCAN and those who walked on Saturday, I would like to say “Thank you for letting me into the group and I look forward to next year!”

The Sponsors

For more information

For more information about bladder cancer and BCAN, check out their website at https://www.bcan.org/. You will find information about research, symptoms and how you can get involved in your area.

Saturday, March 24, 2018

Monmouth County Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk - Let's Find a Cure

The Starting Line

I had the pleasure of covering the Monmouth County Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk at Monmouth University a few years ago. I have been volunteering my photography services for a while and always looking for a good cause to support. I found the Monmouth County Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk and, without hesitation, I signed up to volunteer. I was very excited when I received a confirmation email along with some other information about the walk. My thought was that I would do Team photos, like I did for the JDRF, but I was assigned to be an Event Photographer. Uh oh…. I haven’t covered an event this big in a long time but if that was what they needed, that was what I was going to do. I was excited to be part of such an important event – it is important because it raises much needed money for research but it is also important to me on a more personal level. Pancreatic cancer took the lives of my mother-in-law, Joyce, and uncle, Pendy, and I have been looking for a way to honor their memories; this seemed to be the perfect way. If I can do my small part to aid in the research that leads to a cure, I think they would want me to. I was encouraged to hear Nicole read the names of two (2) survivors at the walk that year, but it is my hope that there will come a time when the list of survivors becomes too great to read aloud.

Nicole & her Dad starting the walk

The Monmouth County Walk was founded by Nicole Tuscano and her family in 2010 in honor of her mother, Cleo. Cleo lost her battle with pancreatic cancer in 2008. The day started for me at 7:00 AM when I arrived at Wilson Hall on the campus of Monmouth University. I was taken aback a little when I approached a small group of people and one of them, Nicole, greeted me by name. I was sure I had never met her before and couldn’t figure out how she knew who I was. I guess my confusion must have shown on my face because she quickly explained that she saw the camera bag and I was the only new photographer to the mix. I helped with a couple tables and a few cases of water and then set about my job. Too often the volunteers and others behind the scenes are treated like scenery but I like to shoot them as-well. In fact, one of the emails that I received from Nicole in advance of the walk mentioned that she wanted photos of the volunteers and her family, in addition to the participants. I soon met Frank, the other event photographer, and we discussed how to best cover all of the action. Frank had been involved with the walk before and knew the route, as well as the important aspects that we needed to cover. This proved to be invaluable and ensured full coverage.

A small part of the crowd

It wasn’t long before the once empty lawn was awash in yellow and purple as participants signed in, checked out the tables of information and grabbed a quick bite to eat. It was then that I decided to try taking a few shots from an elevated platform. The ideal would have been the roof of Wilson Hall but that didn’t seem likely so I chose the top of the stairs leading into the building. It was high enough to give me a good overview; the panoramic shot was taken from this position and then stitched together with Photoshop. Soon the time came for everyone to move to the Start/Finish line and for Nicole to say a few words before cutting the ribbon with her father. That was when everything really started. I tried to catch as many people at the start line as I could and when the last person crossed the line I headed for my next station to get set before the walkers had a chance to get there. I barely made it and I took a shortcut! I admit, the photos at the starting line were taken more to document the start of the walk but now I wanted to try to capture more of the life and essence of the walk and was more selective in my shooting. The most important thing for me is to stay out of the way and so I stayed to the side of the path and only crossed to the other side when there was a big enough break. Occasionally a team would stop and pose for me but mainly I just let the action go by and grabbed what I thought would make for a good photo. Again, I stayed in this position until the last person passed before I headed over towards the Pollack Auditorium to catch everyone passing through.

Camera shy....

The background wasn’t all that special so I walked against the current towards the stadium and set up there. The crowd had thinned out a bit more by this point which made shooting even easier than before. I could see potential shots earlier thereby giving me more time to get ready and frame the shot. There were a few times that I wished I had been shooting video, especially when a mother with her twins sons came by. She had allowed them to push the tandem stroller (they were barely able to reach the handles) but the one on the left was pushing a bit harder than the one on the right and so they kept veering off course. Mom had to keep correcting their tack but eventually they found straight and went on their way. When the last had passed I made my way back to the Start/Finish line but by the time I got there most of the walkers had finished. Luckily Frank was there to catch each and every person crossing the finish line. Did I mention how nice it was having someone else shooting?

The Volunteers (that's Nicole in the white shirt)

The walk was done but my job was not. It was time to catch everyone relaxing with a cool drink or maybe a purple bagel, enjoying the beautiful day. There was also the raffle to deal with. When everything was done and the participants had left it was time for one last photo – the Volunteers! Everyone gathered on the steps to Wilson Hall and I took a shot. I then took a few more, just in case. It was only then that my job was done and I could go home.

I met a lot of people that day – walkers and volunteers – and most of them had a very personal reason for being there, I know that I did. I wish I could share all of their stories but, unfortunately, I cannot. What I can do is to help get the word out and raise awareness with the hope of inspiring more people to get involved. Check out the Lustgarten Foundation website – here – to find ways to help. Volunteer. Walk. Donate. No contribution is too small, whether it be time or money. Thank you for stopping by – if you have a story you would like to share, please feel free to leave a comment below. Stay tuned for a post about the volunteers for this great event.

All photos are copyright Joseph S. Valencia All Rights Reserved They may not be used in any way without express written permission of the photographer. If you wish to use any of the photos you may contact the photographer at valencia32photo@gmail.com

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Out of the Darkness - Suicide Prevention and Mental Health

Suicide....

What a difficult word to read, to talk about. It is even difficult for me to type it. Understanding suicide is even more difficult; in fact, I am not even sure any of us can fully understand the decision to end one’s own life but we need to continue to try. It is only by trying to understand that we can begin to help those who feel there is no alternative. We know the numbers - more than 42,000 suicides in the United States in 2015, for every suicide there were 25 attempts and suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. The cost to society is immeasurable as each life lost robs us of the potential held by that individual. Imagine how different our world would be today without the contributions of Thomas Edison, Jonas Salk, Benjamin Franklin and Mother Teresa, to name but a few. Each life lost is a loss of another potential great contributor to our world.

Get involved

So, by now you may be thinking - "Yes, it is horrible but what can I do about it?" I'm glad you asked. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is a great place to start. Whether you have contemplated suicide, know someone who has, been affected by the suicide of another or just want to learn more they have resources available to you. You can also become actively involved with the organization by participating in, or volunteering for, one of the more than 300 "Out of the Darkness" walks held throughout the year. You can find a local walk by visiting the foundation's website - if there isn't one near you, contact the local chapter in your state and ask about starting one.

Why I got involved

I have served as a volunteer event photographer and committee member for the Jersey Shore Out of the Darkness walk since 2014 and can tell you that it is one of the most incredible events I have ever been associated with. I became involved for very personal reasons. In the summer of 2010 a friend, Scott, took his own life and I do this work to honor him. I learned of AFSP after seeing photos his wife, posted on Facebook. The family had participated as a team in a walk in Philadelphia and I knew that I wanted to get involved. It took a few years but I finally got a chance to shoot the 2014 Out of the Darkness walk in Manasquan. I met Scott, a devout Deadhead, through my son’s Boy Scout troop and got to know a fun-loving, mischievous man who cared deeply for his family and the scouts in the troop. When I learned of his death I was stunned and saddened. How could someone as seemingly happy and outgoing as him do something like this? I don’t know but if helping raise awareness to the cause can help spare someone like Scott, count me in.

Sadly, I have other personal reasons for being active with AFSP. While working for the walk I got to know someone who had been struggling for a long time and we had a discussion about it last year. He was very open about it and I learned a lot from our talk. He relayed stories about helping others get through their dark times and he had a great outlook. I then learned of his suicide later that year. This was someone I barely knew but the news was very difficult for me to hear. I think Eddie's death was difficult because it showed me that the struggle never ends and no one is "out of the woods" when it comes to mental illness.

You Are Not Alone

If you are struggling, please remember this – you are not alone and you don’t have to go through it alone. Talk to someone – a loved one or trusted friend. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone you know there are other places you can turn to – AFSP is one of those places. I will list other resources at the end of this post. What is important to remember is that you matter. I know it is a bit cliché but you are the most important thing in the world to someone and they cannot envision life without you. I think many of us have had periods in our lives when we feel we cannot go on and others would be better off without us. I have met hundreds of the families and friends of suicide victims through AFSP and have seen how their loss has affected them. For them, life goes on but there is an emptiness, a void that cannot be filled.

What can we do?

We, as a society, tend to treat mental illness like any other - we treat it for a little while, the patient gets better and then we can forget it. I am not a medical professional but my understanding is that this isn't so and my experience appears to back that conclusion. By being involved with AFSP and Out of the Darkness, I hope to bring attention to the problem and encourage others to get involved. I have been worked with other organizations over the years and great advances are being made in those areas but it seems like this is one segment of society that isn't. I find that to be unacceptable - don't you?

How to Get Involved

Please consider volunteering or participating in a walk in your area. If you would like more information you can check out the AFSP website at http://afsp.org or send me an email at valencia32photo@gmail.com and I will put you in touch with someone.

Where to Get Help

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) – http://afsp.org
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
Crisis Text Line – text the word TALK to 741-741

Note: Tweet: AFSP provides help to anyone who needs them – whether you or someone you know. They are there to help in any way they can.