Doubt whom you will, but never yourself. - Christian Nestell Bovee
Inspiration comes when you least expect it and, often, from surprising places. I, more often than not, don't know when or where the idea for a blog post will come from. There are times when I sit down to purposely write about something - a song, movie, personal experience, etc.... - but it seems that lately an idea will come to me from nowhere, when I least expect it. This is one of those times.
I have a collection of quotes that I have gathered over time, some I stumble across and others I seek out. The majority of which are about nature and I have used them as inspiration for photo shoots and blog posts. I also have some under the heading of "Inspiration" which is where this title came from. Anyone with a social media account has seen the inspirational memes; I have and I collect ones that I find particularly interesting. I have no idea where this one came from but I liked it so it went in the list and was forgotten. I was looking at the list this morning and this quote jumped out at me; next thing I know I am typing it in the "title" block of this post.
This is a very powerful statement and I took it to heart. You see, like everyone else, I had dreams and aspirations when I was growing up - early on I was going to be a scientist but discovered I wasn't all that enthused with much of the science part. It was around that time (my early teens) that I discovered photography and quickly developed (pun intended) a love for it that has only gotten stronger over time. I was going to be a photographer but I had to learn how to do something else because all indications were that it was no way to make a living. There was doubt that I could make it in the art world so I got a real job in a real career. I didn't give up on photography but I accepted it as a hobby. There were many people around me who told me I was good but no one really ever said I was great and should pursue it. I did try in the late 1980's by submitting slides to a prominent calendar publisher (another story for another time….) but was soundly rejected which let me know that my doubt was not misplaced. It took nearly 30 years before I was ready to try again.
Fast-forward many years and an unhappy job situation re-ignited the fire which lead to my first experiences writing a photography blog. This was also right around the time I got my first DSLR and my daughter was leaving for her first year of college - a photography major! I started out posting a single image and maybe writing a short description. There were other times when I would write an instructional post. I got a fair reception but I wanted to do more - I love telling stories and wanted to combine my photography and storytelling. The problem was that I have always been insecure about my writing - I was filled with doubt. I had a small following and was afraid they might go away if I started writing more. I decided it didn't matter, if people didn't read it then I would just do it for myself as a hobby. Surprisingly, I didn't lose readers - I gained some! The blog evolved into one with multiple images and the story behind them. I discovered that I loved writing almost as much as I loved photography. I still had doubt about my ability as a writer and my ability to compete in the world of photography so it remained a creative outlet - nothing more.
It was a few years later that I discovered Niume which gave me the flexibility to write about many different topics and I took advantage of that; I started writing in the Business & Finance, Culture, Humour, Interesting, Lifestyle, Movies & Series, Music, Photography and Technology Spheres. In the first seven (7) months writing on Niume, I published 74 posts! Sadly, Niume grew too big, too fast and wasn’t well managed – it is no longer around. My experience with Niume prompted me to continue writing in various categories so I started writing two blogs; this one, From the Mind of Joe Valencia, and a photography blog, Exploring Photography with Joe Valencia. (Note: I have kept all of my writing from that period, updating and posting them here when I think it is appropriate; this post was originally published in October 2016.)
While I am still a little insecure (who isn't) about my writing, and photography, I no longer doubt that I am at the very least competent. A few years ago I began doing more with my photography than just sharing on Facebook and blogging; I began actively pursuing it as a part-time moneymaking endeavor. This was right around the time my daughter was graduating college with her photography degree and on the threshold of having the career I never had. I’ll admit I was a bit jealous. My self-doubt and fear of rejection had gotten the best of me for too long. I was encouraged by my wife, Doreen, and my good friend, Dave, who kept telling me they thought my work was good. That is pretty much their job, isn't it? They are supposed to encourage and support, within reason. I was also getting positive feedback from people who had no reason to make me feel good so I decided to give it a shot.
I spend much of my spare time shooting, editing, submitting and writing. Then the social media accounts have to be updated so that word of my work gets out. This is when I am not reading about the latest photography techniques and tricks, trying to learn marketing or searching for contacts. There are weekend days where I sit at the computer early in the morning and suddenly realize that it is mid-afternoon. It is exhausting at times but nobody is going to do it for me. It is a labor of love and I am beginning to get the recognition I sought. It took me a long time to get here and I plan to savor every minute. Doubting my ability is a thing of the past - I know I am good but I am still learning and getting better all the time. I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if I just said "Screw it! I am going to be a photographer!" I know life would have been quite different but I can't possibly know how or whether for better or worse.
The moral of the story is that you need to live life, take chances and never let doubt or fear of failure control you. My father once told me that it didn't matter what career I chose but I should be certain to like it because I was going to be doing it for a very long time. I have had two (2) careers - one as a draftsman and my current career as a programmer - and I have gotten great pleasure and sense of accomplishment from both. That said, I can't help but wonder....
